Just because
by Karijn Aska Shangel
Summary: Some cute KisaIta drabbles, enjoy. PG13, KisameXItachi is LOVE... Rating upped to be safe!
1. Drink

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Not betaed, if someone wants to I'll be really, really happy**  
**

* * *

**DRINK**

"Awww… Come on Itachi-san, drink just a little bit!"

His dark haired partner spared him but a glance before ordering himself a glass of fresh water.

"That really wasn't what I intended… Would it hurt you to buy a bit of something not NO-alcohol for once?" pouted the blue skinned man, hurt written all over his face as if Itachi's repulsion to saké was the Original Sin

"I like to know what's in my drink, that's all. Who knows what they put in those things…"said the Uchiha heir taking little sips from his water glass

There was a short silence and then…

"Do you ever wonder how many colorants they put in the water to make it look transparent?"

Itachi choked.


	2. Dress

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Not betaed, if someone wants to I'll be really, really happy!

* * *

**DRESS**

Uchiha Itachi glared passionately at the offending pink cloth that rested quietly on his bed.

"Remind me, Kisame. Why do I have to wear that thing?"

The blue skinned Akatsuki raised his head from a familiar orange book and looked intently at his partner.

"Because our target, apart from being an amazingly perverted pervert, has a kekkei genkai that can see through genjutsu and we need someone to seduce him to take that scroll?"

"Why me?"

"Deidara is away on another mission. And you know that few people in Akatsuki can pass as women like you two…"

Kisame let his words hang in the darkness of the room before sitting on Itachi's bed and taking the kimono in his big hands.

"Well, of course this colour enhances my blueness, it's so short it'd show off my legs and the fabric is so smooth that it contrasts beautifully with my rough skin. Maybe I should try it…"

A look of disgust and mere seconds passed before…

"…give me the blasted thing, Kisame."

Kisame grinned.


	3. Smell

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Not betaed, if someone wants to I'll be really, really happy! 

* * *

**SMELL**

Sometimes Deidara came in the kitchen with his smelling like sweet roses, sometimes like fresh mint and pines.

Every week he'd have a different scent on his hair claiming that like this he would keep Sasori's attentions all for himself, that his lover wouldn't need to go out and look for another man or woman because Deidara would be everything the puppeteer needed.

Kisame just rolled his eyes and sighed as his nose shut down. At least his man didn't care about those frivolous things.

Trust and love weren't based on smells, clothes or whatever shit one could put upon himself. Kisame knew this and thanked every god, even Jashin, that Itachi thought the same thing.

On their bed, that night, Kisame worshipped his lover, for everything he was, for everything he gave everyday to the blue-skinned nin. His scent, so purely him, and the bloody wheels of the Sharingan.

Sated from their lovemaking they looked at each other and smiled.

"Ne, Itachi-san, should we tell Deidara that PowerPuppet-Sasori doesn't have a sense of smell anymore?"


	4. Hobby

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**HOBBY**

It was a very rainy afternoon in Grass and Hoshigaki Kisame was sprawled on his bed in the Akatsuki hideout with the thing he most loved and cherished. Apart from Itachi-san, that is.

The ex-member of the Seven Swordsmen was reading Icha Icha Fortress.

Silent as a ghost his black haired partner looked over the other Akatsuki shoulder to read what had his lover so enraptured.

"If someone was that flexible he wouldn't even need a lover, much less three." commented the wielder of the Mangekyou Sharingan

"Well Itachi-san, I'm sure you'd be able to do that." countered Kisame

"This means that I have no need for a lover?" asked Itachi letting his Sharingan eyes roam over the muscular body of the other missing-nin

"No, this means you have found a way to entertain yourself when I'm away on solo missions." smirked the blue skinned man

Itachi smacked him.


	5. Culture

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Now betaed!

* * *

**CULTURE**

Every good ninja had his quirks.

Hatake Kakashi, the infamous copy-nin covered his face, was always at least one hour late and had the tendency to read porn novels in public.

Maito Gai just HAD to run around in that spandex green thing blubbering about The Springtime of Youth. And he was bad looking, too.

While Uchiha Itachi considered himself a fortunate man to have found himself a lover with few "tactical problems", not counting the blue skin and the gills, said lover had an horrible obsession with movies.

When Kisame had first called the Sharingan wielder "Precioussssssssssss" while cuddling in their bed, Itachi let it pass, not without grumbling about how his lover sounded like Orochimaru with a throat ache. And that was not sexually stimulating for their relationship.

When Kisame had killed one hunter nin with his sword after pronouncing the words "Avada Kedavra" Itachi had narrowed his eyes. His lover should really stop imitating snake-faced, strange-eyed, minor-obsessed freaks. He was doing a very bad job of it, anyway.

But Itachi decided this had to finish after one afternoon in a dango shop, when Kisame, absolutely straight-faced, while looking at his dangos said…

"Do you fear death?"

* * *

LOL! Squid-faced Kisame! Anyway you must have seen The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean to understand something. Sorry for those who hadn't, but it was too funny to pass off! 


	6. Sight

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**SIGHT**

After a difficult mission of assassination that brought them near Konoha, Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi were ambushed by Mist ANBU that were trying to take down the ex-member of Mist Seven.

It all went well till one of them managed to get the blue skinned nin in his side with his sword. Poor bastard didn't even see what came upon him in the form of one pissed Sharingan wielder.

Anyway, in the Akatsuki hideout, outside the infirmary the killer of the Uchiha Clan paced.

Paced because his lover was with the medic-nin and he wasn't allowed to enter (Stupid Leader banned him after he tried to use Tsukuyomi on the damn nurse who had her hands all over HIS lover). Paced because he could do nothing but feel useless. Paced because he was worried.

Sighing he sat down in front of the door. Surely, there MUST be a way for him to enter the blasted place and see Kisame.

* * *

The blue skinned man looked at the young missing-nin in the bed near his.

"Let me get this straight, Itachi-san. You suffered massive chakra depletion because you were so deep in thought that you didn't SEE Samehada right beside you?"

"Shut up."


	7. Genius

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things**  
**

* * *

**GENIUS**

Itachi Uchiha was a genius in many of the things he did.

He graduated at the top of his Academy class at age 7, mastered the Sharingan by age 8, became a Chuunin at age 10 and ANBU captain at 13. He exterminated pretty much all his Clan and made into Akatsuki, notorious missing nin organization, before hitting puberty.

Not that after that he became lousy.

Beautiful and, if Kisame's satisfied expressions were any indication, a GREAT lover, the Mangekyou Sharingan wielder sported a not really convenient defect, at least where camping in the woods when doing missions was concerned.

…

The blue skinned man was fishing peacefully in a little river when the smell of burnt reached his nose. Looking behind he noticed a column of black smoke rising from where himself and Itachi-san had their tent.

He hastily returned from the river with three fishes safely in his grasp, only to find his lover trying to put off the fire that was consuming the rabbit they had previously captured.

Kisame smirked.

"I know it's one of your favourite techniques, Itachi-san, but I don't really believe that Amaterasu is that safe when cooking dinner…"

Let's just say that our poor shark didn't get any for a couple of weeks.


	8. Winter

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**WINTER**

Uchiha Itachi absolutely loathed Winter.

It wasn't because his favourite jutsus were Fire ones and during cold and humid days they weren't that effective. He actually liked fighting in storms, they gave spice to a battle that was, at least in Itachi's opinion, too easy to win. But snow…

Snow he could absolutely do without.

Made of evil little cold buggers that infiltrated your every pore and made you freeze from the inside out. You were never safe from them.

Walking in the snow was worse. He had neither the height nor the force to make his way in fields of snow that were nearly two feet high. Such things happened when Stupid Sir Leader had this horrible _need_ to obtain jutsu scrolls that were either non-existent or too-far-away-to-even-phantom-their-rescue. The one Itachi and his partner were searching for was one of the latter.

A sacred scroll well hidden in Snow Country. Snow. SNOW.

Itachi was a very unhappy Akatsuki member and never failed to mention his displeasure to the ex-member of Mist Seven. The sixth day of walking in the snow the Uchiha finally snapped.

Using his Katon:Goukakyuu no Jutsu he quickly freed their path from the offending white powder.

"Itachi-san, not that I'm unhappy with this development but do you really think it's wise to melt snow with this weather?"

"Hn." said Itachi

And tripped on the newly formed sheet of ice, landing right on his ass.

"Not. A. Word."

Kisame tried to contain his amusement.

* * *

**Alternative ending, Fluff alert!**

Itachi was a very unhappy Akatsuki member and never failed to mention his displeasure to the ex-member of Mist Seven. The sixth day of walking in the snow the Uchiha finally snapped.

Using his Katon:Goukakyuu no Jutsu he quickly freed their path from the offending white powder.

"Itachi-san, not that I'm unhappy with this development but do you really think it's wise to melt the snow?"

"Hn." said Itachi

And tripped on the newly formed sheet of ice.

Kisame was quickly behind him supporting his back but his balance was off after being pushed backwards by the force of his partner's fall. Kisame landed right on his back with the Uchiha's body safely in his arms and couldn't help an 'humph' when the air in his lungs was forcefully expelled by their fall.

Itachi's worried eyes searched Kisame's face for any sign of pain and was relieved to see the blue skinned man smiling softly to him.

"That was dangerous and unnecessary, if I make a mistake I'm supposed to be responsible for its consequences." chided the Sharingan wielder

"I don't care, Itachi-san, it's a pleasure to protect you when I can."

A sigh.

"Are you alright now?" asked the smaller man

"My poor ass is freezing, I think it's starting to turn blue *smirk*, anyway the next inn we find we're staying for the night, I'm feeling a bit cold." said the Shark-nin eyeing his partner that had a familiar look in his eyes

"I could always warm you…" breathed the younger man

Kisame just lifted his head a bit to capture Itachi's mouth in a heated kiss.

* * *

A/N: Winter is not so bad now, ne Itachi-kun? -grin-


	9. Money

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**MONEY**

Kakuzu loved money more than everything else.

He loved to touch it, to steal it and to see it grow under his very eyes mission after mission. His baby. To give him a heart attack you just had to burn 50 ryo (1) in front of him and he was on his knees bawling for you to stop.

So it was his logic choice to be the one that kept Akatsuki's finances away from the grubby money-eating bunch of missing nins that were his colleagues. But that implied that he was also the one that had to do the grocery list and say no the useless requests that were only a waste of money. ("Deidara, you don't need tampons, you're a man for God's sake!")

Normal things to ask for were various types of food, junk food and sweets. Itachi had a thing for Mitarashi dangos, Kisame was fond of Mikado sticks, Sasori just couldn't live without tuna, Hidan had nightly cravings for cherry lollipops, Deidara was always on a diet and Zetsu was pretty much self-reliant. Leader… Kakuzu wasn't sure he wanted to know where all that tamarind (2) ended up.

For the third time in the last hour the tall missing nin re-read the list that was in his white hands.

He crossed out the three written near 'coffee', Tobi didn't need to be more hyper than he already was. Perhaps some valium? Oh, well… The next thing he cancelled was 'fresh blood' which Hidan never missed to add ("How the hell can I pray without blood?!?").

The last thing on the paper made Kakuzu rise his eyebrows…

Olive oil.

Well, he knew that when cooking dinner oil went out faster than water but he had already bought four bottles the previous week and it couldn't have possibly been already finished. He checked the calligraphy and went to Kisame's room.

He lightly knocked and then spoke out loud.

"I know you where the one that wrote the oil on my list, Kisame. What do you need it for, I already bought it…"

Something shifted in the room.

"I've finished it, I'm sorry."

"Already?!? They were four-fucking bottles, what the hell did you do t…"

-THUMP-

"Harder, Kisame!!"

Kakuzu blanched and thought that he could live without knowing where all the oil went, but he made a point to buy five to six bottles a week.

At least it was cheaper than lube.

* * *

(1) Pretty much 3,7 € / 5 $... Well, I would cry too… 

(2) In Italy they say "Not everyone likes tamarind"... I guess the Leader does!


	10. Marriage

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13, more naughty stuff implied  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**MARRIAGE**

Most relationships start with a fateful party, a coincidental glance and a shy smile.

Uchiha Itachi's relationship started with a criminal organization, a blood-red glare and a snarl (courtesy of Kisame).

Leader put them in the same team because Itachi's power in the Ninjutsu field complemented well Kisame's Taijutsu and brute force. Kisame of course protested vigorously with Leader but only received a brutal no which sounded more like 'He is a smurf and you're blue, it's a perfect match. Now leave me the hell alone!'.

The first days were obviously the worst. Itachi was constantly glaring at Kisame and Kisame was constantly glaring at Itachi. Sasori thought that it was really funny because the force of Itachi's Sharingan Glare was unrivaled but then… Kisame didn't need to blink so these Eye-fights went on for hours before someone decided that it had to stop. That someone being always Sasori.

Something changed during their first mission together. What happened was the most well-kept secret in the ninja world, not even the Leader knew the secret of The Mission.

After then Itachi became more quiet, never started a fight with Kisame and always walked near the blue skinned giant. Month after month the rest of Akatsuki begun to notice the quick glances that sometimes the younger missing nin gave to Kisame and the tendency that the older one had to 'accidentally' brush his hand with Itachi's. Of course Kakuzu had all kind of bets on when, where and why they were going to end up together. In the real sense of the word 'partner'.

Years passed and their bond grew stronger. Sometimes Deidara would comment how cute it was to see Itachi slim form in the arms of the bigger nin when they were seated on the big old red sofa in the common room. Kisame would flip him the finger and everything was all right.

One evening Deidara was feeling a little bit too noisy.

"You should marry! Really! It would give more stability to the group. And it would be very cute!"

"Why don't YOU marry, we are all right like this." answered Kisame

"If Sasori-danna asked me I would gladly say yes! At least he gives me presents! You haven't even bought yourselves a pretty ring… For engagement's sake, you know."

And then Sasori wacked him in the head. Everyone decided that it was late and so they went to the respective rooms to sleep.

In the intimacy of their room the ex-member of the Mist Seven glanced at his partner that was slowly undressing himself, preparing for the night. There was nothing seductive in Itachi's movements but they awoke in Kisame a primal sense of possession that he could not explain. That he could, would, not resist.

Spent and really sleepy from their passionate lovemaking the two of them remained cuddled near the other, the Uchiha prodigy in the arms of the Mist nin.

"I was thinking about what Deidara said. About the ring." said softly Itachi

"Uh? What about it?"

"You should really buy me a ring. A big one. With a sapphire."

"Oh yeah? What about you, Itachi-san, aren't you going to give me a ring?"

Itachi only smiled, sat up and straddled Kisame, his backside pressed against the blue nin's groin. Kisame groaned.

"I already gave you your ring."

Kisame grinned.

"Pervert."

* * *

A/N: I'm becoming more and more perverted as the story goes on! XD I promise that the next will not be so pervy, I swear! ...Well, if you like even these ones tell me, I'll try to write a lemon (of course I'm not going to write a full sex scene, but there will be kissing... And maybe groping...)!  



	11. Regulation

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things**  
**

* * *

**REGULATION**

If there was something that Kisame really loved doing when not on missions it was taking showers.

It had nothing to do with the fact that he was strikingly similar to a shark. He was a Mist nin that used Water-based jutsus, water was more like a second nature for him. He liked going under the cold spray and wait until it became warmer to start washing himself, first cleaning himself and always doing his hair when he was finished and the water had become almost boiling.

He could take nearly five showers a week. And people thought that it was Itachi the one obsessed with cleanliness. No, Itachi-san showered only two to three times a week and only after the mission had been completed. He didn't even need to wash his hair too often, they were always a shiny waterfall of onyx silk. Bloody unfair genetics.

And, as always, when under the warm water his thought went to his lover. Kisame never did it on purpose, but every time he felt relaxed he thought of the younger missing nin. And those kind of thoughts always led to something…natural for a hot blooded male who had the most beautiful guy on the planet as his lover.

He couldn't help it that images of his handsome partner flocked his mind and banned all rational reasoning. He also couldn't stop his hand that from his hair, where it was previously doing the innocent task of washing, went lower to a much less innocent task…

In one fatidic moment the water turned from scalding hot to freezing cold.

Kisame jumped out of the deathly trap that his shower stall had become, successfully tangling himself with the shower curtain and ending on the floor in a tangled heap. And it was then that he realized that he wasn't alone in the bathroom.

His partner was watching him with hungry eyes.

"Kisame, you don't need to do those things in the shower, _alone_, when I'm in the next room and could play with you." the Uchiha prodigy said coyly while lowering himself to Kisame's level

"I know you're always there for me, Itachi-san, but could you please avoid to flush the toilet when I'm taking showers just to remember me of it?"

* * *

A/N: Yup, still PG-13... Sorry for those who asked the pervertedness but this one came out like this!!! I'd like to thank all my reviewers (Comments make my day, really!): amberblood, Riyoku-kun, Lucy Sumeragui, SeleneSoulwar, Skins Thunderbomb, sorafan 08, Hinatta-Rocks24, KyuubiNoKitsune097, foreverloved, Madfrost, applesauce.the.brave, ICantThinkOfAnythingCreative, Suiren ningyo, VoucherMono, MoonlitAngel007!!!!  



	12. Method

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things**  
**

* * *

**METHOD**

It was really rare but sometimes Leader felt that Akatsuki needed a break from missions and all those tiring criminal activities.

In the little town near the Akatsuki hideout there was a thermal centre with a restaurant. All nine members plus Tobi always went there for a few days, to relax before returning to their old life of missions, assassinations and bi-hunting.

Itachi always despised going there. One, because it gave the girls the possibility to follow and ogle him in all the ways know to mankind, and it didn't bode well with him. Two, because of the evil waiters from hell in the little restaurant.

He was pretty much sure that they didn't do it on purpose but the fact remains that Itachi was not happy when eating there. The food was good and everything but the waiters disrupted his Method.

Itachi really liked food. Really, really liked! So he started with the things he liked less, seafood and carrots, and finished with his favourites, beef and potatoes. Sweets were always brought after dinner so it wasn't really a problem.

Itachi then looked at his plate, which always had a few roasted potatoes waiting for him to eat them. They looked at him with puppy eyes and screamed 'eat me!'. But Itachi always left the bigger and more roasted ones for last.

And then…

…came the waiter that scooped his plate from under his nose with the big premium golden, and of course last, potato on it.

And it happened every single time! He would always glare at those Evil people with his Sharingan but they were seemingly not affected.

And every single time Kisame would chuckle and give him the potato he always strategically hid under some lettuce.

* * *

A/N: This is soooo annoying when it happens to me! XD YAY! Me is back!!! I'm sorry I had to cancel the bonus thingie, maybe I'll put it up again if I feel like it!!!!  



	13. Fairytale

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
Warning: Watch out for Kisame's perverted mind!

* * *

**FAIRYTALE**

Our two favourite missing nins were sprawled on their bed doing nothing. Outside it was raining and even the Sharingan wielder didn't want to get soaking wet with water and mud just for an afternoon of training and of course Kisame followed him in his let's-be-inside-for-today quest. Sir Leader was locked in his room with Hana (1) and wouldn't come out for a while… If you catch what I'm trying to imply here…

The absolute boredom persuaded Kisame to stand up and retrieve his beloved Icha Icha Wars but a pouting look from Itachi made him falter. Itachi-san… pouting?

"You always read those perverted books, Kisame. Don't you really have nothing else to read?"

"An old Bedtime stories book Leader gave me when I would be needed to baby-sit his son."

"Better than nothing… Read it to me?"

Kisame was slightly baffled. Itachi-san and Bedtime stories? Yeah, right. Kisame was ready to bet that his parents read mission reports to him instead of fairytales. The blue missing nin cleared his voice and started to read.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess…"

"That's boring and not innovative."

"That's how the story goes, Itachi-san."

"I don't care. Change it."

"Once upon a time there was a handsome prince that fell in love with… another prince… Their pure love started back when…"

"That's taking too long… Can't you sum it up?"

Kisame narrowed his eyes. Why the hell did Itachi-san wanted him to shorten the story? It wasn't as if they had something else to do!

_/You want a sum up, eh? You'll get it…/_

"Once upon a time there were two princes deeply in love who only thought about having gay anal sex all day long, but one day a perverted old man tried to possess the body of the younger prince. The handsome prince then in a bout of rage chopped off the pervert's dick and returned to his lover. They now live in a dark cave and keep warm at night by having hot bondage smex. End."

Silence filled the room.

"I think I realize why you were never given babysitting duties when Leader-san's first son was born, Kisame."

* * *

A/N: This is a really useful site for drabble writers, you only have to update the page every few seconds and it gives you random word to get inspiration!!! www . zokutou . co . uk /randomword/ (cancel the blanks)

(1)The unknown girl with the flower on her head

**Warning!!! Here there be SPOILERS!!!!**

Yes, I know that Leader is named Pein (or Pain?) and yes, I know that Tobi is the real Akatsuki leader AND Uchiha Madara. This is not important for this story, Leader will keep on being Leader, Tobi will keep on being a good boy (and not the Uber-evil and Uber-old Uchiha Clan's Founder), Kakuzu, Hidan, Deidara and Sasori will keep on living and I will keep on writing. That's all! XD


	14. Communication

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**COMMUNICATION**

Tobi happily strolled down the caves of the Akatsuki hideout. It was a particularly boring day, Leader didn't have missions to give them and so they were given a free day to spend as they pleased. Zetsu-san was out searching for something to eat, so that left Tobi to try and find something to entertain himself with. Or someone.

His first try were Deidara-sempai and Sasori-san. He knocked on their door and waited.

A moan.

"Whoever you are, but I guess you're Tobi, we're playing with each other so we cannot play with you. GO AWAY, UN!!!"

Unmistakably Deidara. So they were busy and couldn't come out. Well, Tobi, being a good boy, left them to their activities and went to the second door in the hallway.

Tock, tock.

"You unknown fucking pussy, go the bloody hell away!!! We're trying to get la… Ow!!!! Don't you fucking hit me, Kakuzu!!! Why did you... Oh... Ehm... We're… laying down!!! Here, you happy heathen bastard?!? Now, Tobi go away or may Jashin help you if I ever put my hands on your fricking sorry ass!!! FUCK YOU!!!"

Not even Hidan-san and Kakuzu-sama were available for playing, they were too busy trying to sleep. Not one to be discouraged, Tobi went to the last door. Surely Itachi-sama and Kisame-san would play a bit with him, would they?

But before he could knock on the door he heard Kisame speaking.

"Itachi-san, please stay still, it's not going to enter if you keep squirming!!!"

"You should push it more gently then, it hurts."

"I'm not the problem, it's that you haven't done this in what? Five years? I need to stretch it, or else it'll be too tight for anything to go in."

A rustle of fabric.

"Ow!!!Fuck Kisame, I'm bleeding, are you happy no…"

Tobi heard everything he needed to start screaming.

"AAAAAAHHH!!!! VIOLENT HOMO SEX between MISSING NINS!!!!"

And run away.

Kisame went to open their door to find four pissed Akatsuki members looking evilly at him.

"What did Leader said about not traumatizing Tobi with anything over PG-13, un???" said Deidara before they all returned to their rooms

The blue skinned nin returned in the room he shared with his lover. Itachi was sitting on their bed, handkerchief in a hand that was pressed against his left ear, a little golden earring in the other one.

"Maybe it's better to leave the door open when we're not having sex, Itachi-san."

A questioning look.

"I think we have misunderstanding problems."

* * *

A/N: This really happened to me… I have allergy problems with my earrings so I didn't put them for more than seven years. I was trying to put one on without a mirror and I was only succeeding in stabbing myself to death when one of my (male) friends came in and started to help me. The dialogue was pretty much the same. Only that his girlfriend (one of my best friends) heard us. She was starting to bitch about how evil I was and what a bastard she had for a BF when she actually saw us. Then she became as red as a tomato and he and I were literally rolling on the floor laughing!!! Anyway happy mid-August Holiday!!!!  



	15. The Talk

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**THE TALK**

"Now, thanks to you, Tobi has been traumatized. He is spouting nonsense about rapist sharks and sodomized weasels and sincerely, I'm tired of hearing it so… Fix it! Go speak with him or something, make this agony STOP!!!"

Yes, Leader made himself pretty clear. This didn't mean Itachi had to be happy about explaining Tobi that his lover was NOT a crazy pervert and he was not a damsel in distress. Kisame took it better than his partner. They just had to tell Tobi that they were together and Kisame would never ever hurt his Itachi-san.

Evidently Tobi had other ideas because he appeared in front of Itachi with a pill in his hand and a glass of water in the other.

"Quick Itachi-sama!!! Take this pill or else you'll be getting bigger and bigger and then there'll be little rapist sharklings everywhere!!!"

Itachi wasn't sure on how to answer this so he decided that a glare would do. Kisame eyed the pill with an amused grin.

"Really Tobi… Itachi-san is a man, he can't have babies."

"But…But Deidara-sempai said that if two people do dirty things together the abused one would end up with babies!!!"

"We were not doing 'dirty things', and the baby-thing happens only to women. Like Hana-san(1)." said Itachi

"Why not men?" asked Tobi tilting his head

"Just because. And to set this straight Kisame did not abuse me and even if he did it wouldn't be called rape." glared the Sharingan wielder

"No?"

"Something like 'making love' would do…" said Kisame whose skin was turning slightly purple

"You weren't making love!!! Making love is when two people go under the blankets in Intimacy and say lots and lots of 'Un's…"

"Why do I have the feeling that Deidara said this to you?" asked Itachi

"Because he did!!! Anyway I have to go out with Zetsu-san, remember to take the pill and stay far away from the Evil Aggressor!!!" yelled Tobi running down the cave after leaving pill and glass of water in the hands of a befuddled Uchiha

"Kisame, I have a plan to capture the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki."

"Oh?"

"I'm going to tell Tobi that Abused-For-Years Naruto is segregated in Full-Of-Rapists Konoha and that Gambling-Pimp Tsunade has sold him to Porn-Reading Kakashi who's forcing him to do Very-Dirty-Things all day long, so Protector-Of-Pures Tobi just HAS to save him."

"…Leader's going to kill us."

* * *

(1) The Akatsuki member with the flower that has a son with Sir Leader. See Fairytale. 


	16. Flexibility

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**FLEXIBILITY**

Young medic-nin Miyamoto Tsukaku stared at the folder in front of him. He had had an hard day at the clinic and even if it was only a little village many ninjas stopped there after their missions to be healed before returning back home. Today was no exception.

A group of four Kiri ninja kept his hands full all the afternoon and now, at dusk, the poor man wanted to do nothing else than raise his feet from the ground and watch TV while drinking a glass of pineapple juice. But noooo, people kept arriving and so he was forced to remain there till every one of them was healed. The only positive thing was that in half an hour his colleague would arrive for the night shift and he would be able to go home and relax.

The last two people to arrive were particularly strange. They wore black cloaks with red clouds in the lower part, one of them was a blue-eyed blonde that kept his hair in a high ponytail, the other walked with his back hunched and the only thing Tsukaku could see was the black hair draped over his face.

Their aura was powerful and the medic gulped. These were dangerous ninja, he had to be careful if he didn't want to end up six feet under.

They entered the small room and the blonde man? Woman? Spoke up first.

"We need a bit of help, un. Our medic is out on a mission and we had a little…accident, un."

"I'm not really that good at dispelling speech impairing jutsus, sir."

At this Deidara looked confused.

"What speech impairment, un? We're here because Itachi-san here can't walk and sit upright, un! He looks so much like Sasori-danna walking all hunched, un… And his partner is away on a solo mission, so… Un!"

Itachi tried to glare at him but from his position the only thing he could glare at was the floor. Or Deidara's ankles, but Itachi wasn't sure you could Mangekyou them into oblivion.

The medic sat up and walked behind Itachi putting gently his hand on the back of the missing nin. His hand started to glow green as the medic searched for the source of the problem, and it wasn't long before he found it. An ugly muscular strain that run along the backbone.

It wasn't that difficult to heal for a medic-nin but for a normal ninja it was painful and it really compromising their movement. A few seconds later the muscle was ok and the patient exhaled a sigh of relief.

Tsukaku took up a blank folder.

"I need your name, your generalities and what caused the injury. So, name?"

"Muraki Kazutaka."(1)

The medic snorted and simply wrote down '26/09/ Missing nin n. 23'. He also crossed out the birth date, the family medical history, the village and the rank. No missing nin would ever disclose those informations and Tsukaku wouldn't risk his life just to find out. But there was a blank that he absolutely needed to fill.

"Cause of injury?"

Itachi looked uncomfortable for a moment.

"I know that if it's a mission you can't speak about it, but I don't really think that a ninja battle can leave a muscle strain of that typology. What were you doing to get it?"

…

Back at the Akatsuki hideout Kisame wondered where Itachi-san was. He also wondered why his Icha Icha Fortress was on Itachi-san's bed. Smirking, Kisame only hoped his partner had managed to make good use of it.

* * *

(1) Evil doctor from the manga 'Yami no Matsuei' 

A/N: I'm lucky I have reviewers who prompt me, because I'm starting to do SEQUELS here!!! That's not good!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about go read '4. Hobby'. XD Anyway, thanks to Lucy and Skins, I have new ideas so for a few chapters the chipmunks will be active and you won't have to worry about delays!!!

In about a week (so this saturday or next wednesday) the one shot **'The Mission'** is going to be out! I'm not going to post it here as a drabble because I've only started it and it's more than 600 words long, so it will be posted as a separate story. If you don't remember, go read the drabble 'Marriage'. The fic is going to take the place of one of my updates, so no new drabble when I'll put up 'The Mission'! XD


	17. Birthday

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
**Thanks:**Thanks to Lucy Sumeragui for this prompt!! Actually I kind of… Tweaked it…

* * *

**BIRTHDAY**

Kisame was sulking.

Really sulking, the kind of sulking you do when everything in the world goes bad and everyone is set against you. He retreated to a dark corner and started to draw circles on the dusty floor of the Akatsuki hideout. Deidara was baffled. He tried to get the blue man's attention but nothing seemed to shake him out of his self-induced depression.

The blond shot a questioning look at Kakuzu, who was reading 'Easy Money, Vol. 4'. The Taki ninja looked at him before raising an eyebrow.

"He asked for a pet for his birthday and Leader said that if he ever sees one in here, he will skin it alive and then feed it to Zetsu."

"That's cruel, un. And Itachi-san is not here to comfort him, un?"

"He was muttering something about annoying sharks when I saw him go out."

And with that he returned to his book.

That evening all of the Akatsuki was sitting in the Common room to give Kisame his presents. He received many things but he really wanted his puppy. Since the death of his beloved goldfish Agaliarept there was a hole in his heart that needed to be filled. Of course Itachi-san was his lover, but he needed someone to speak with that didn't glare at him for everything.

_/Speaking of Itachi-san he didn't even came… Nor he has given me a present… Mimimi…/ _(1)

So sad and dejected, the ex member of the Mist Seven went to the room he shared with his lover. He opened the door to find an interesting sight.

Itachi on his bed.

Naked.

Naked save for a silver studded collar around his slender neck and a leash attached to it.

Moving on all fours the beautiful man went near his partner and looked at him with black, endless pools of want. The hard muscles danced beneath milky skin as his hands offered the leash to Kisame.

"You wanted a pet, Master?" said Itachi

And boldly passed his tongue over the fly of Kisame's Akatsuki trousers before pulling down the zip with his teeth, revealing the growing bulge beneath. Kisame moaned and then smirked, caressing the young man's cheek.

"Here, kitty…"

* * *

(1) First scene of 'Emperor's new groove', the llama saying 'mimimi' is the most pitiful thing I've ever seen, LOL to Disney! 

A/N: Me is dieing… I'm feeling fat today and I have the flu… (The flu with 33°C outside is just madness… -THIS IS SPARTA- … Love that film…) Next Wednesday the one shot**The Mission**!!!

**Preview:**

"_You're kidding Leader-sama, you're telling me THIS is my new partner?! He's…He's a fucking kid!"_

"_Yes, he's young and I would have expected you to act more your age and less his. Young Uchiha is powerful and will make a great asset to our cause, please try to be civil." said Leader looking between the two_

"_Oh, and Itachi-kun? Try not to go near sinks during night time, I've discovered that they have the fascinating tendency to eat up Kisame's partners."_


	18. River

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.**  
Thanks: **To Skins Thunderbomb for her prompt! It's not really full moon but… Hey, there's the moon, there's the river and I managed to sneak in a bit of homo-homo action!!! XD

* * *

**RIVER**

Kisame lifted his eyes from the little fire he had managed to lit up to watch his lover discard his pants and enter the cool water.

Their mission had been long and tiring and they didn't want to stay in the village after the ruckus they'd caused with the assassination. So they fled into the forest. After a day of non-stop running they were both exhausted and when Kisame heard the sound of a stream they decided to stop and rest a bit, before going back to the Headquarters.

Itachi glided slowly into the dark river till the water reached his chest. Then he let himself go under, the water closing over his head as he crouched down onto the sandy ground. A mere second and he was out again with a splash, his long black hair forming a perfect arch in the air as he resumed his standing position.

"Show off." grunted the blue skinned man, observing with a half smirk his partner

Itachi only returned to where the river only caressed his hips and then stopped staring straight at his lover. The ex-member of the Mist Seven felt his mouth dry up in a second and the second after it was watering. The moon was only a crescent but its pallid light accentuated the fairness of the Uchiha's skin making it glow. It didn't help that Itachi-san's adventurous left hand went up to play with a wet, hardening nipple, a soft moan escaping those rosy lips. Oh yeah, the little minx was in for the pounding of the year.

He vaguely heard the sound of bushes rustling but he was too occupied with divesting himself of the heavy Akatsuki coat and everything under that to care about something so trivial. He then proceeded to go into the water to reach his Itachi-san. He lifted his hand and took the Uchiha's left one away from the abused nub, lowering his head till his mouth against it. He heard Itachi's sharp intake of air and smirked.

"These are mine to play with, Itachi-san. Try to remember it." he said and took it into his mouth, sucking lightly

His lover moaned and took Kisame's head in his hands, trying to press him against his chest to increase the sensations, but the blue skinned man freed himself from his grasp and looked lovingly into the black eyes of his partner. Another rustle was heard in the bushes behind them.

"Leader gave us a free week to spend as we want when we return to the hideout. I don't want to rush anything." the Kiri nin told Itachi, posing his forehead against the younger one's

Itachi pouted.

* * *

_Later at the Konoha shinobi's camp…_

"Off we go!!!"

"But… But… Sakura-chan!!! Where are you going? Sakura-chaaan!!! Why do you have branches in your hair, Sakura-chan? Sakura-chan?!? I really don't understand why we have to talk Sasuke-teme into sparing Itachi, 'tebayo!!! And why does your forehead say 'Rabid KisaIta Fan'?!? Answer me, SAKURA-CHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!"

* * *

A/N: Hana's name was revealed but I'm not going to change the name I've used for her, just like I keep on calling Pein, Sir Leader. I think this is falling more and more in the AU category… Oh well, these are the joys of fan fiction!!! Keep prompting me!!! The exam went very well so I'm posting early!!! (I finished this in one hour, I'm exhausted!!!The original title was Ambush aka Imboscata... Only Italians can understand the pun, so sorry!!!) My livejournal account is at **karijn-jade. livejournal. com /,**all the news and the updates, a bit of art and links!!! I've only started it so it's not really that big yet... XD 


	19. Wish

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: R  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.**  
**

* * *

**WISH**

Kisame groaned.

He and his partner were in the middle of a forest and the night cried shooting stars. It was a fairly hot evening and their cloaks were folded over a rock. Over the same rock that Kisame was sitting upon. The same rock on which Kisame was receiving a blowjob from his lover.

Itachi's elegant head moved with grace over his big blue cock, pale hands massaging his sac and keeping his member in place, so that he would not choke, kneeling between the open legs of the other man.

His beautiful lover had been adamant. He wanted to pleasure his partner and Kisame was going to accept, no questions asked. The ex Mist Seven would have been a complete nutcase to refuse, so he sat on a rock and waited for whatever his lover had in store for him.

This wasn't really what he had expected. It wasn't a matter of pride, kneeling and submitting yourself to the total pleasure of your partner, neglecting yourself because your lover's pleasure was more important than yours. Itachi always felt embarrassed doing this because he believed himself to be inexperienced, to not being able to please Kisame and show him how much he loved him.

Kisame really didn't care. Dark lashes over marble cheeks and onyx tresses spread over his tights were all he needed. All he needed was his lover and what he was disposed to give.

He was nearly over the edge when Itachi's mouth left him.

"Please…" he whimpered

And stood up only to sit over Kisame's tights, straddling him and rubbing his cloth-covered member against his partner's. Kisame's hands quickly unbuttoned the youth's trousers and then went inside the black boxers to grasp the round globes of Itachi's backside, pressing one finger against the brunet's entrance, feeling the ring of muscles contract and then relax to let him in. Itachi moaned.

Somewhere in the dark woods a thump was heard.

"K-Kisame?"

"It was nothing…" said the blue skinned nin completely inserting his index finger inside the other man and starting to add another

Itachi passionately kissed him.

* * *

Suigetsu smirked dragging behind him an unconscious Uchiha Sasuke. 

"I guess this wasn't really what he wished for when he said 'I want to see my brother on his knees, begging'.-grin-"

* * *

A/N: God, I am a pervert... …And my story is rated PG-13… Oh well, let's hope ffnet doesn't kick me out!!! It's tradition to wish something when seeing a shooting star… Maybe Sasuke should have been a little more specific… XD Second fic in the 'Discovery' series, the third and final one up next wednesday! (The first one was 'River') Prompt me, PLEASE!!! I'm doing trilogies!!!  



	20. Indigestion

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: R  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**INDIGESTION**

The full moon was playing hide and seek with the night coloured clouds as two naked men, deep in the woods, moved against each other.

Blue skinned hands glided gently over smooth silky skin as a curtain of dark locks fell over a muscular chest. The smaller one was sitting over the other, swaying his hips in an erotic dance, his lover's desire deep inside his body.

The older one had a smirk on his lips when a slight shifting of his hips put his length's head in contact with his lover's pleasure spot. The dark haired one moaned and started to move faster.

The sound of bushes rustling and a figure leaving made the couple pause and then disappear in a cloud of smoke.

* * *

_At the Konoha camp…_

"Ne, Sai! Where is Sakura? This has got to be the twentieth time she sneaked away from the camp, 'ttebayo!"

"I don't know where Sakura-san is, but I do know that whatever she's doing involves Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Henge and KisaIta."(1)

* * *

_(Same time) __At the Akatsuki camp…_

Kisame arrived hastily to his and Itachi's camp and knelt down near his partner and lightly shook him.

"Itachi-san?"

A soft grunt came from the black sleeping bag.

"I've just had a vision, I saw the two of us having hot and totally random sex in the middle of the woods."

Silence and a dark head slowly coming out...

"I told you eating pepperoni just before going to sleep was not a good idea, Kisame."

* * *

(1) Kage Bunshin is the Shadow Clone technique, Henge is the jutsu used to alter your appearance and I hope I don't have to explain what KisaIta means… 

A/N: Less perverted than the other two but I had fun writing this! Actually I'm short of ideas at the moment so I guess that I will concentrate on writing 'Innocence' (I have replayed the lemon a million of times in my mind but nothing comes out when it's time to write…). I want to thank all of my reviewers for their (your) support, I'm happy you like my story! And I think I'll never stop saying this but, please prompt me! If I know what you want it's more simple to give it to you! (And don't say sex, I'm talking about plots here, I always find the space to sneak in the 'good time'!) XD


	21. Making Love

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.**  
Thanks:** To Skins Thunderbomb for the prompt 'Itachi's 21st birthday'! You're a life saver dear!

* * *

**MAKING LOVE**

That fateful 9th June was a quiet day in the Akatsuki Headquarters. Everybody was out save from two members who successfully coerced Leader into giving them a free day. It was Itachi's 21st birthday and Kisame wanted to spend it with his lover, in their bed, having lots and lots of steamy, sweaty sex.

They were on their bed, Kisame's massive form blocking his smaller lover beneath him. His already-slicked erection was pressed against the Uchiha's well lubricated entrance but the blue skinned nin lingered.

"Tell me what you want, Itachi-san."

The brunet moaned his displeasure and shifted his hips, trying to get his lover to enter him. But his movements only succeeded in getting Kisame's erection to brush against his sac.

"Kisame…"

-POP-

"What the...?!" exclaimed the ex Mist Seven covering himself and his lover with a blanket as his boss transported himself into their room

"Tobi is back earlier because he wanted to wish you 'Happy Birthday' Itachi. I really hope you'll have an excuse ready because I won't suffer another round of Sharks-on-Raping-Spree this month. He will be here in approximately… 30 seconds."

And with that Leader popped out of the room.

An embarrassed silence fell between the two lovers.

"I can save us from Leader's lectures about Rating and from Tobi's rants about Homo Homo Sex but you have to trust me." said slowly Kisame

"I have the strange feeling that I'm not going to like it."

Kisame than took the blankets and disposed them to completely cover them. Just a second later Tobi banged in without even knocking.

"Itachi-saaaaaaan!!! Happy birth…"

"UN!"

"Wha..?"

"Un! Uuuun!!! Un!"

"Soooorry!!! I'm so sorry to have disturbed you 'love love' time together!!! Please resume making love, I'll just go away!!! Sorry!!!"

And with a bang he was out of the door. Kisame cautiously peeked his head out of the sheets and looked warily at the closed door before shifting his gaze to the man underneath him.

It wasn't long before Itachi's emotionless mask cracked. A grin, then tears in his eyes and then he was hiding his face in the pillow, his whole body shaking.

"At least now he won't pester us anymore, Itachi-san. Shall we resume what we were doing before being interrupted?"

Itachi looked at him still smiling.

"Un!"

* * *

A/N: You have to read Drabble 15 'The Talk' to understand what I'm talking about. I actually dreamt about it… The morning after I fell down the bed from laughing too much. To ChiroChan26: They already did skinny dipping, in 'River'. But I guess I can do another one! Thanks! Since I'm falling behind with 'Innocence' I'll give myself a deadline. Deadline is the 26th September. Cookie to anyone who guesses why. I'll post it then! 


	22. Nightmare

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.**  
Thanks:** To missionguestthing who suggested the theme 'Gender bend'!

* * *

**NIGHTMARE**

Kisame woke up at the sound of someone crying. It was really strange because the only Akatsuki member who cried on regular basis was a drunk Tobi, and the blue skinned nin was sure that the previous night no one had gone out to drink.

An enemy? Maybe they had woken up his Itachi-san and he had glared them into crying submission. Yup, that must be it. Anyway he sat up and searched for the source of the noise, which revealed itself to be a bundle of dark clothes with dark hair.

_/Itachi-san?/_

Kisame got up and went to his shaking partner.

"Itachi-san, what's wr…"

"Everything is wrong!!! I can't stop crying, I got fatter in two hours and my tits hurt!!!"

Kisame's eyes got really round. He kinda looked like a blue version of an astonished Rock Lee.

"Ti-tits?"

"Tits! What the hell do you call them?!"

And his partner stood up and turned around. Yes, those where boobs. Big boobs. Authentic ones?

-SCIAFF-

Ow, that hurt. Yes, they were real. But that meant… That Itachi-san was a woman! Kisame took a backward step. His lover was pretty much the same if you didn't look at that chest and at the awfully long eyelashes. And the pretty, pouty lips and the manicured hands and the curved hips and…

"God, please tell me this is a genjutsu, that you're not a woman, Itachi-san." wailed Kisame

And the dams broke.

"You don't want me anymore! Y-you're evil, Kisame, you said you'd love me forever and ever and… And now you are breaking up with me! Bwaaaaaaah!"

Now Kisame understood why he liked men. Women were noisy, they cried for little things and they were untameable when PMSing, always asking for assurance about their lovers' feelings and making a fuss over nothing.

And his Itachi-san was the best he could find. Beautiful, lean body, a waterfall of onyx hair and fields of milky skin. Sure, he wasn't a chatterbox but he knew how express his feeling even without speaking.

And when they had sex, the way his Itachi-san's body tightened around him and how his erection would quiver just before coming…

* * *

"Kisame?" asked a sleepy voice in a dark room 

…

"Yes, Itachi-san?"

"I don't really mind, but… Is there any particular reason about why are you kissing my crotch?"

* * *

A/N: I am a woman, I am allowed to joke on PMSing women! (They just came and I'm on a rampage because I can't find my purple PMS trousers…) Poor Kisame had a bad dream, I guess Itachi-san will now reassure him!!! -Grabs cookie from ChiroChan26 and eats it- Yumma yumma! Thanks! XD  



	23. Personnel

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.**  
Thanks:** To Diamonk Mask for the prompt 'Drunk Tobi' and Skins Thunderbomb for the 'Shoolgirl-Itachi' one!

* * *

**PERSONNEL**

"The pink dress was not enough. Now I have to wear a schoolgirl outfit. And pigtails." hissed Itachi, trying to glare a hole in the wall

Kisame could understand his partner's discomfort. Even if he himself was constrained inside a black and stiff business suit, he guessed that he got the lesser of two evils. Mature and old men all around them were staring at the Uchiha trying to take a peek under the short skirt he was wearing.

Their target was a man that had made his fortune with drugs and prostitution, selling underage and girls to old and, most of all, rich pedophiles. Leader often chose these men as their victims, maybe he had been abused as a child.

Or maybe he just loved to torture Itachi in all the ways known (and unknown) to mankind.

Kisame took Itachi, making him sit on his lap, and possessively put one hand on his partner's hip and the other on his tights, just where the skirt finished to reveal long, smooth and pale legs. A clear sign that the 'little girl' was off limits.

"Where the hell is Leader's diversion?" asked the Uchiha murmuring softly in his partner's ear

Ah, yes. Leader's diversion. The great plan was to make such a ruckus so that everyone would have been too distracted to see the two assassins killing the party's host. Such a simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?

"Sigh, sigh… It's so wrong 'cuz he took him and then TOOK him and there was loooooots of blood and screaming and then the bastard said they were MAKING LOOOOOOVE… Bwaaah!Sob, sob…"

Itachi went rigid against Kisame's embrace.

/Don't tell me Stupid Leader sent us a drunk Tobi as distraction… Please, please, if there's a God somewhere, kill me now!/ silently prayed the brunet

"Waaaaah!!!And-and then they were HOMOHOMOSEXING!!!!Sigh, sigh, -hic-…"

Kisame patted Itachi's back and sighed with resignation.

"That would be our clue to end the work, Itachi-san."

"So let's go and finish this, my ears started to bleed."

"What about the bane of our existence?"

There was a loud wail.

"He forced him to wear a skirt and SHAVE HIS LEGS!!! His poor leg hair was everywhere and it cried and-and then… THEY FLUSHED IT DOWN THE TOILET!!! Bwaaaah!!! WAAAAH!!!"

"Never mind, Kisame. Akatsuki staff was going to need a turnover anyway."

* * *

A/N: I got the idea from one of my friends… She's hilarious, one time she started to speak about how she was able to foresee the future in flushing toilets and how she was going to dominate the cheese mountains with the help of her moon rats. She was high on chocolate. XD 'Innocence' comes out next Wednesday! (As usual, no update for JB then!) 

_**'Innocence' Preview:**_

_"If… If I'm ready, now, a-and I want you to be the one… What would you say about taking my innocence?" _

_"Your innocence is not mine to take, but yours to give." _

_"I want to give it to you." _

_"Then I'd be honoured to receive your innocence, Itachi-san."_


	24. Random

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**RANDOM**

"I am not Grimmjow Jaggerjack's long lost sister nor the Fairy Godmother's long lost daughter." -Hana to Tobi-

"Yes, I am sure that feeding Zetsu a cactus won't hurt his feelings." -Leader to Tobi-

"Sempai? But when you pray… Do your hands snog?" -Tobi to Deidara-

"This isn't fucking-purple nail polish you bloody brat, this is Tinky Winky's blood." -Hidan to a kid-

"Money can buy everything… and Mastercard can kiss my ass." -Kakuzu to a salesman-

"No brat, I won't fear for my life if you accidentally say 'Can I screw you?'." -Sasori to Deidara-

"Calm down, Itachi-san, you're not blind. Now please turn on the light." -Kisame to Itachi-

"**We won't eat you**, now put away the weed killer." -Zetsu to Tobi-

"I am not a woman… I'm just drawn that way…" -Deidara to a fanboy-

"I guess that when bullies put your head in the toilet you didn't have problems with breathing." -Itachi to Kisame-

* * *

A/N: Random thoughts that pop out in my head when writing 'Just Because'. I have finished them so I'll post them, one for each Akatsuki member… I have made a joker out of Tobi, poor him! XD Actually I posted this as a big 'Sorry' for not having updated last week! Uni is really hard, even during the first weeks... I want Christmas to come early!!! 


	25. Speech

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**SPEECH**

It was a rainy afternoon and inside the Akatsuki hideout a certain brunet was sitting on a sofa, deep in thought. A blue skinned man sat on the bed looking at him and pondering if it was wise to approach his lover. His problem was solved when Itachi looked at him, sensing the constant stare of his partner.

Kisame raised his eyebrows in an asking fashion and Itachi sighed.

"'You lack hatred…' It's old…"

That was new for the ex Kiri nin. The 'hatred' speech between his partner and the younger Uchiha was a must during their random encounters. Maybe during night-time conscience had paid him a visit.

"Are you having doubts about mentally torturing your otouto, Itachi-san? You do realize it's a bit late to make amends…"

"I don't want to make amends. I just don't want to fight him, it's anti-lazy. When I say that he lacks hatred he loses focus and then I only need to punch him to end the fight."

Nope, not conscience. Anyway it was strange for his lover to talk so much.

"What changed?" asked Kisame

"He grew up, I guess. I need to find something else."

"Ask Tobi."

A glare. A Sharingan glare.

"… You're kidding."

"No. If there's someone able to come up with something to shock another man to death is him."

"I'm going to regret it."

Kisame only smirked.

"Maybe."

* * *

Of all the people that Leader could send out when dealing with intruders, it had to be Itachi and Kisame. The young genius was not really bothered but the intruder was his young brother and his gang and, really, Tobi's excuse, while long and adjectivally gifted, was not what he would call…proper. 

"Uchiha Itachi, today is your last day!" shouted Sasuke while charging towards his brother

"If Leader asks it was your idea." whispered the dark haired man to his partner but the other ninja smirk was rapidly growing

No, Tobi's speech was more like The Supreme Offence to The Sense of Propriety. Itachi took a step forward.

"You won't kill me today. You need to fight me when I'm at my best or you won't be satisfied."

"A deep breath, Itachi-san." said softly the ex Kiri nin to the other man, standing beside him

And Itachi tightly shut his eyes and started to recite what Tobi had written for him and he knew by heart.

"Actually I just had my poor innocent and virginal-no-more ass thoroughly plundered by a rapist blue shark with an oversized blue cock. He stretched me so dreadfully open that I have now problems with coordinating my back muscles and my nerves are so numb that I don't feel my legs anymore."

Sasuke's eyes were so round that they appeared ready to burst out.

"Oh yes, and his come is leaking out and making my autumn-winter Akatsuki trousers all slippery. I really hope it won't stain. He didn't even use a condom an I'm scared shitless that I will give birth to that shark demon's spawn and that rapist sharks will dominate the known world."

Karin went near Sasuke's motionless and very fainted body and poked him with a stick.

"I guess Tobi is useful for something, after all."

* * *

A/N: The chipmunks are evading me, I can't seem to get a good idea so I guess this will do… I will try harder, I swear!!! Also one of my friends suggested a Mpreg themed one, what would you think? Let me know!!! (I am becoming a Mpreg fan and I don't know if it's good or bad...)  



	26. Rival

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**RIVAL**

After a well pondered consideration of the current events Kisame decided two things. One, that he would never, in any case, let Itachi go near a child again, and two, that Sir Leader's son was as devious as his father and ten times more evil.

It all started when Hana's abilities were requested for a spying mission and she had to leave her ten-months-old baby to his father's care. Of course his father, being the incarnation of Satan, could not deal with crying babies and stinky diapers. So he let the gracious task to his employees.

At first Kisame had thought the whole thing hilarious, Kakuzu trying to sew a new diaper on the baby and Tobi being puked on. Then it was time to take a nap and Itachi had been the one to draw the short straw.

The baby had been surprisingly well behaved, safe in Itachi's arms and it had even started to nod off when he suddenly looked at Kisame.

The shark nin had shrugged it off because starting a glaring match with a child was immature, totally immature.

And then the child started to pet the Uchiha's hair.

Kisame's lips formed a thin pale line while his brows narrowed angrily. To hell with what was mature, the blasted kid was _caressing_ his lover! And it seemed to know it was riling up Kisame because the little shit smiled. SMILED!

The blue nin's closed fists started to shake and he showed his sharp teeth to the offending pest.

When the kid closed his little grubby hands around the dark tresses of the man that was holding him, Kisame's eyes where blazing like the deepest pits of hell.

And then the brat pulled.

Itachi made a surprised sound, and the Kiri nin was on his feet and near his lover in less than half a second, he took the child in his hands and pulled it away from his partner and into its crib.

"Kisame?"

He smiled to the brunet.

"Let's have a tea, he'll fall asleep soon."

Itachi looked confused for a moment but then moved to go out of the room, his partner at his side. And then Kisame lightly put a hand on his lover's backside and turned to look at the kid.

"Mine." he hissed and then went out of the door

The child pouted.

* * *

A/N: My molecular biology teacher is a jerk... Leader's kid is in love with Itachi-san! XD Help me find a name for him, he's too cute not to use him for another drabble!!! ...mine?Mine, mine, mine, mine!!! (I love seagulls!!!) 


	27. Confession

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
Warning: PURE FLUFF!!!

* * *

**CONFESSION**

Kisame knew that many of their enemies would kill to have his partner's eyes. The Mangekyou Sharingan was the most powerful eye technique out there, the power to torture for an indefinite amount of time, the power to see everything.

The shark nin did not know how his lover obtained them, he never bothered to ask. The past was not something Akatsuki enjoyed talking about, it was private. After all everything that mattered was the present.

But Kisame couldn't help but wonder.

Those eyes were very powerful but with every use, Itachi's vision would fade more and more into complete darkness. To obtain a powerful tool you have to sacrifice something of equal value. Equivalent exchange. At a high price.

"When did you get the Mangekyou, Itachi-san?"

Calm black eyes looked at him.

"I was thirteen, a few weeks before joining Akatsuki."

"How?"

The dark haired man paused to think. Kisame saw that he was hesitant about answering.

"I killed my closest friend."

Their eyes met and the blue man nearly cringed at the intensity of the Uchiha gaze.

"Are you afraid of me now?"

"You're not the first man to have chosen power over friendship, I'm not going to blame you for what you've done, Itachi-san."

A small smile wormed his way on Itachi's face.

"I'm glad I met you only after having joined Akatsuki."

Kisame cocked his head.

"I may be able to sacrifice friendship for power, but not even I am able to sacrifice love."

* * *

A/N: -pops out of the Sugary Sands- My diabetes is kicking my shins… I had a fight today with my parents and I really needed something mushy to cheer me up! I really don't want to write depressing things but I've read somewhere that every author has to write a death-fic in their career… Tell me what you think! 


	28. Gay Pride

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**GAY**** PRIDE**

Akatsuki, as a really secret criminal organization, had its fair share of secrets. Where the main hideout was, who and where was the Leader, their aims… But in reality the most well kept secret in Akatsuki history was the reason about why their nails were painted purple.

Some say that it's the colour of evilness, others that they just were born that way. Hoshigaki Kisame begged to differ.

When the shark nin joined Akatsuki there were only Leader, Hana, Kakuzu, Sasori and Orochimaru as members. And the uniforms were nearly completely black. Black spats, black sandals and red clouds. Kisame just assumed that the Suna nin had this unhealthy obsession with the colour red and didn't protest, even if the colour clashed a bit with his complexion.

It was only when Uchiha Itachi joined that the infamous purple nails made their appearance.

Leader showed up a day with many bottles in his hands, he gave one to every member and, after telling them that their membership would be reconfirmed only after the applying of said nail polish, he disappeared.

Red was still acceptable but purple? It was something only Orochimaru would wear.

So Kisame decided if he couldn't avoid wearing The Awesome Purpleness (it was the name of the brand) he would at least know why he was forced to use such horrid stuff on himself.

"It was the last colour I could find."  
This was Leader's first answer but Kisame could not be deterred.

"The one who went to buy it was Orochimaru."  
That was believable but not the real truth and Kisame was dead set on knowing it.

"You want the truth? The majority of Akatsuki is gay, I just felt like telling the world."  
And he popped out of the cave leaving a cutely confused shark in his wake.

* * *

_Few years later…_

"Itachi-kun? But why purple nail polish, un?"

"Leader asked me to chose. I picked the nail polish."

"But, but… Purple, un?!"

"It was either that or the rainbow-coloured spats."

* * *

A/N: Sometimes I just feel like shooting those (my priest is one of them) who boycott the rainbow 'Peace' flag because is too similar to the rainbow 'Gay' flag… Also purple is my favourite colour, I'm happy Kishimoto used it for Akatsukis' nails! I'm sorry for the cliché in the last chap but sometimes I need sugar too! XD (And admit it, listening to Itachi speaking about love is so -awwwww-...) I've done a fanart for Drabble13-Fairytale (( http:// karijn. deviantart. com/art/Thanks-for-10k-68679518 ))!!! Or it can be seen as 'How Itachi Really Lost His Innocence' ... LOL! 


	29. Family

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**FAMILY**

When Kisame joined Akatsuki he expected to eat only take-out or strange-concoctions-that-should-have-never-existed-in-the-human-realm. So when Hidan said that he knew how to cook, the Akatsuki decided to make him the official chef of the organization.

Dinner that night involved mushroom soup and roast beef and it was so good that even Itachi couldn't help but take two servings of everything. He was so full that at one moment his abdomen just curved out.

Kisame watched with morbid fascination as his lover moved to caress his poor tummy and his stupid inner-voice, which sounded too much like Tobi, started to scream 'cute mate bearing sharklings' at full force. And then his lover decided to stretch and show a bit of pale, soft and round belly.

While trying to stop the blood that flooded out of his nose, Kisame couldn't help but think of what could happen if he and his partner had a son.

It would have been great if the child were to be more like Itachi, intelligent and beautiful. But then if he grew to be too much like Itachi he would kill his family and that was a no-no in Kisame's opinion. Kill who you want but touch Itachi-san and you're dead.

Kisame narrowed his eyes and his lover shot him a perplexed look.

The same would happen if he was too much like Kisame. The kid would surely fall in love with his mother and if killing Itachi was no-no, falling in love with him was a fuck-no. The blue nin didn't like competition when Itachi-san was concerned.

No, thank God the Uchiha was male. It had always been great like this, only him and his partner.

Kisame inner-self then kindly told him that while he was busy thinking another problem presented itself.

Fussy-and-most-of-all-Evil Kid Leader insisted to be held by the Uchiha, who was now standing up and lightly patting the kid's back.

The pest was smiling from ear to ear, petting vigorously the dark haired male's hair. So it couldn't evade the spoonful of mushroom soup that had been flicked at its face by a blue vindictive Akatsuki member. If it wanted to be near the Uchiha it would have a very miserable life from now on.

Itachi glared at him but Kisame was sneering. Sweet sweet revenge.

* * *

A/N: Sir Leader's son will be called Kid Leader… Stupid, I know, but I think it's cute because that's the nickname that Kisame gave it. And yes, I know that since he's a boy, he's an he but in our sharkie's mind he's less than a cockroach, so he needs to be called 'it'. XD 


	30. Weapons

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
**Time alert:** Takes place right after 'The Mission'!!!

* * *

**WEAPONS**

The standard stock for ninjas, from genins to ANBUs of every known village, was 20 shurikens, 15 kunais, 10 exploding tags and 5 blank scrolls.

Other than that every nin could choose to bring his or her favourite weapon with them. In Konoha no one really understood why the Kyuubi container brought 20 cups of instant ramen sealed inside a scroll with him, but since he always had the standard stock with him everybody left him alone.

This was intended to work for Akatsuki too but, since it was really difficult to check eight S-class missing nins at the same time, Leader closed an eye and let them do whatever they choose.

Young Itachi Uchiha weapon of choice was a sleek katana, with a black and red handle. But he also had always with him the standard stock because you have to be prepared for everything and the more weapons you had the more possibilities you had to survive.

A day the Uchiha heir looked into his partner's pack, a little surprised of its small size. Inside there were only two scrolls and a half-eaten box of pocky, so the little 13-years-old boy turned towards the older man with a reprimanding glare.

"You are short of weapons." said the teen

"I have no use for them, they're only additional weight in battle." responded the blue man with a small smile

"What we are surrounded by enemies and you don't have the equipment to fight?"

Kisame smirked.

"I only need my big blue sword to pierce my enemies."

The brunet looked at him and his gaze went down the larger male's body. Then Itachi hastily turned away, with cheeks redder than the Sharingan. Kisame was without words.

"…You're a pervert, Itachi-san."

* * *

A/N: Sometimes I wonder how many chapters are needed to finish a collection… Ka is short on ideas!!! I have also decided to put the project 'Experience' on hiatus since it's pretty difficult for me to even update JB. Don't kill me, please!!! I wouldalso like to thanks Skins Thunderbomb that is quenching my thirst for KisaIta smut!!! (You better keep on writing and e-mailing me that RP or I swear I'll start writing KisaOro!!!èé) 


	31. Underneath

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
**Thanks:** I vaguely remember a review from Diamond Mask asking about undies… Really late and not really in-theme but don't hate me!

* * *

**UNDERNEATH**

That day Itachi was woken by a dull 'thud' outside his door and soft knocking.

While grumbling about damned idiots waking him up during the Mists of Time he padded over to the door and opened it to find no one outside and a bright orange package on the floor.

"Maa, Itachi-san? What's the matter?" asked a sleepy Kisame, his head raising slightly from the pillow

"It's early, random and orange." replied dryly the brunet

"Let me guess… Tobi?"

"There's his name on the tag. I think I'm going to leave it here. No, better, I'm going to throw it away. Kisame, open the window." said Itachi while picking up the heavy box

"Hey, no! How many times am I going to wake up with a good laugh? Open it, come on." grinned the blue nin jumping out of his bed and going near his lover

Itachi glared at him but slowly opened the box as if it was going to come to life and eat him whole. Lifting the lid he peeked inside with his Sharingan and after seeing that it wasn't a bomb or anything he opened it completely.

It contained a colourful variety of paper wraps, all of them orange. Itachi felt Kisame snicker lightly beside him and sighed. He knew that only Evil would come out from a gift of Tobi's. He faintly remembered a pumpkin jutsu-ed to sing 'This is Halloween' that followed Deidara even in the shower and a brainwashed tax collector that chased Kakuzu around yelling 'This is not an April's fool!'.

When the gift finally was revealed to the eyes of the two lovers, Itachi calmly went under the covers muttering about 'Orange Idiots…' and Kisame was left grinning from ear to ear.

"Itachi-san?"

"Hn."

"Tobi is going to wonder why you're not wearing his gift."

"A 'No-sharks-here' logo on my butt I can accept but there's no way in hell I'm going to put on stainless steel underwear."

* * *

A/N: Cookie to anyone who guesses from where I took the idea! And seeing as everyone threatened to kill me for suggesting KisaOro I assure you that I'm not even remotely thinking of it! XD But I'm thinking of KakuHidan, SasoDei and even TobiDei… I don't know if I'm ever going to write those but I can always dream! 


	32. Usual

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**USUAL**

Itachi didn't like to play with food. It was gross, rude and ill-mannered.

Kisame didn't like to play with food either. In Kirigakure if you didn't shovel down your food you risked that someone took it away from you.

But sometimes, just sometimes, when they were in a tea shop they liked to play with each other.

Today it was no exception. After a mission that occupied them for over a month they found themselves in their favourite dango shop. It was made of little rooms that could fit four people at most, with pillows to sit on and low wood tables. The scent of incense was pungent in the air and playful wisps of smoke slowly rose from the silver container in the corner.

The two Akatsuki members ordered for the usual. Jasmine tea for Itachi, Vanilla and Cherry for Kisame and a plate of five dango sticks. Two for Kisame and two for Itachi.

The shop owner knew the legendary sweet tooth of the two men so he was always confused when they asked for an odd number of sticks each and every time.

When they finished their share the two missing nins looked at each other, golden into black. Itachi smirked and slowly made for the lone stick but was promptly stopped by Kisame, who tried to take it with his other hand but it was grasped by Itachi's. Then they let go.

The game was on.

It was a matter of speed and dirty techniques. Kisame would try and intimidate his small partner while Itachi tried to do the same with him. The seduction game was just after that.

Itachi's eyes closed and his tongue passed over his upper lip…

"Oh, there you are Itachi-sempai, Kisame-sempai! Leader wants you to go to another mission so he sent Tobi to give you the mission scroll!"

And then he noticed the dango.

"…Well, Leader wouldn't want you to fight over dangos, you are his most trusted shinobis! I will relieve you of this hard decision! Tobi is such a good boy!!!"

And with this he took the dangos and proptly ate them.

"Wow, this are really good!"

"Tobi?"

"Yes, Itachi-sempai?"

"Start running NOW, or I swear I will stab you to death with the dango stick…"

Tobi didn't need to hear anymore because he was off with a puff of smoke. Itachi sighed but Kisame smirked.

"You know, Itachi-san. Maybe Tobi is a good by after all…"

"Why is that?" glared the Sharingan wielder, but Kisame straightened and turned his head towards the door

"Ne, Jii-san! Another usual here, please!"

And Itachi smiled.

* * *

A/N: Next drabble will be up two weeks from now because next Saturday I'll post a KakuHidan fic. Now, don't hate me, I didn't desert KisaIta! I had a good idea for that couple and so I wrote it down… The Force only had a minimal role in this… I hope you'll like it, here's a preview: 

"_Well, what does he have to give to you, then? Obviously he already sold his soul to money, his body is just a leftover. I wouldn't deem this a relationship." said coldly Itachi sipping his hot cocoa_

"_You're more like a handy fuck, un. One that he doesn't have to pay for, un." _


	33. Freud

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**FREUD**

"Say Deidara, un! Deeeiii-daaa-raaa, un."

"…daaa-'a. Iiidaaa'a! … Uuu!"

This was the usual Sunday morning in the Akatsuki hideout. Leader and Hana would be in their room doing whatever couples do together and the rest of the organization that wasn't out on missions would be babysitting Kid Leader.

"Oooh, what a little evil genius do we have here, un! Now, try to say Sasori! Saaa-soo-riii, un."

Such a task was always given to Deidara. He liked kids and kids, strangely enough, liked him back. He would never get angry or yell at them, actually all he had to do was pout and start faking tears for them to stop fussing and start cooing at their distraught babysitter. Sometimes Sasori wondered who exactly was the responsible one during those times.

The child liked to spend time with Itachi, too. The dark haired male was calm and had really soft hair. He also had an annoying blue thing that buzzed around him at all times and kept the dark beauty from spending time with him.

Being only one year old sucked, decided Kid Leader. He wanted the dark one for himself, NOW!

"Oh, well, we have to go now, un." said Deidara putting on his coat

"Where?" asked Kisame, raising his head from the last volume of the Icha Icha series

He didn't want to be left alone with the Evil Pest from Hell. Who cared if it was only one year old, probably the kid already had a better plan to world domination than his father!

"Mission, un. Itachi-san is going to come back in a few hours, so it shouldn't be a problem, un. If you're feeling bored you could teach him to say 'Kisame' and 'Itachi', un. I'm sure Itachi-san will be pleased, un!" exclaimed the blonde before going out of the common room with his partner in tow

Teach the kid his lover's name? Hell no. He didn't want hear its squeaky voice calling for his lover in the dark of night. Only HE could call for HIS lover in the dark of night.

Kisame's golden eyes were fixed on the little pest. The kid stared back at him and then it pointed at the orange book Kisame was reading. When Kisame didn't move it extended its chubby arms towards him and whimpered.

"I'm not going give this to you, Itachi would never forgive me. You don't even know how to read." said the blue skinned nin turning another page

A malicious light flared up in the child's eyes.

A few hour later, just as Deidara predicted, Itachi was back. He had to buy some groceries in the nearby village so he had discarded the red clouds coat and had opted for a simple black coat that went all down to his feet.

In the common room he found his lover reading the disgusting orange outrage that some people defined 'book', and Kid Leader sitting on the carpet and playing with some wooden cubes.

When the child looked up and saw Itachi he raised his arms, wanting to be held up. Itachi went and picked him up and then the child that already had some dark locks safely in his grasp opened his little mouth.

"Iii… Chii?"

Itachi paused to look at the kid who was trying to pronounce something that was vaguely similar to his name. A small smile tugged at his lips.

"Icha!"

The small smile withered away as a rose in a desert storm. The Kiri nin gulped and stared at his lover.

"Iiiicha!!!Icha!!!Ichaaa!!!"

Kisame quickly hid his beloved orange book behind himself.

"I do hope that it's just his way to pronounce 'Itachi', Kisame, because I wouldn't want to find myself another lover just because you got castrated by sir Leader."

* * *

A/N: This took sooo long to write… It all started when I was writing the previous drabble. Instead of writing Itachi I wrote Icha… Somehow in my mind Itachi and Icha are intrinsically connected now. Skins… I really, really, really need to read your RP!!!! Also I need new inspiration, please folks help the drabble chipmunks!!! (I will do a Christmas themed one but I still need to find a good idea for it…) 


	34. Christmas

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**CHRISTMAS**

Hoshigaki Kisame didn't know if S-class criminals celebrated Christmas around the fire, exchanging presents. He and his partner sure as hell didn't thanks to one Stupid Sir Leader and his Stupid Sir Missions.

It was Christmas Eve and they where in the middle of the Forest of Death in the Land of Fire. Yes, just within a stone's throw from Konoha, with all the Konoha nins out for his lover.

Hoshigaki Kisame was not a happy shark.

His lover didn't seem bothered about it, he didn't care about festivities and whatever. As long as Itachi had some days alone with his partner he was happy.

Kisame sighed.

"This is the fifth time, Kisame. What's the matter?" asked the brunet from behind his black wool scarf

"I wanted to spend Christmas at home. In bed (Having sex left unsaid). And now I'm here, in a cold forest searching for… What the hell are we trying to find?"

"A strange, mythical, magical root."

Kisame growled, making soft white puffs from his mouth.

"No Christmas sex this year. This is so shitty…" said the blue man then with a depressed air, his shoulders slumped

Itachi observed his partner but didn't comment. They were on a mission and they had to complete it, end of the story. But he did understand his partner's frustration because he wanted to stay at the base too. Then something caught his eyes.

Over them, tied to a tree's branch with a blue ribbon, there was mistletoe.

A little branch of mistletoe, complete with white berries. Itachi smiled a little, at least they had something to remember them that it was still Christmas, even if they were on mission (and couldn't have sex).

He blocked Kisame putting a hand on his arm and pointed up towards the mistletoe when his partner shot him a confused look. Kisame looked up and then grinned like a little kid. Itachi only rolled his eyes before moving near his lover.

Kisame pecked the Sharingan's wielder's lips lightly, then passed his tongue over the full lower lip. Itachi granted him access by opening his mouth and the two were lip-locked for about two minutes, their tongues battling for dominance. When they separated they were both breathless (but still no sex).

"Merry Christmas, Itachi-san." whispered the blue man to the younger nin

And then they resumed their search in the forest.

"Itachi-san?"

"Hn."

"The mistletoe was tied with a ribbon. Who put it there?"

Itachi also wondered about this. Maybe it was only a thing that a Konoha nin left there during training, hoping to catch their loved one under it. It was only an innocent mistletoe branch, no sense in reading something more in it. Mistletoe was put up only for people to kiss under.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by Kisame who stopped in the middle of the passage and made his small partner bump into his massive form.

"Kisame, what are y…"

His crimson eyes widened when confronted with the sight that had made his lover stop.

A whole mistletoe bush was tied over their heads, complete with violet-gay ribbons and candles.

And then Itachi saw his partner's expression. An evil grin, complete with evil glint in his golden shark eyes. He started to slowly back off.

"Thank you, God." mouthed the shark-like man

And before Itachi could even protest he was shoved on the ground and thoroughly shagged.

* * *

"Don't you think you exaggerated a bit with the purple velvet and the candles, Sai-kun? The bush would have sufficed." whispered Sakura behind her trusted camera

"Well, you told me you wanted to… see…"

A pause.

"And that, Naruto-kun, is what I call a real penis."

"My virgin eyeees, 'ttebayo!!!"

* * *

A/N: Merry Christmas to all of you!!! I had this idea while reading about mistletoe on Wikipedia. You're welcome to go to that page NOW and then crack at the image that's there… (The greatest ideas come from the simplest things, Newton docet…) Just google for mistletoe, it's the first link!!! Sorry for the lateness, but I wanted to update on Christmas... 


	35. Future

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**FUTURE**

Kisame awoke with a start, gasping and sweating. Itachi was near him in a second, his cool hand on his lover's shoulder.

"Do you ever think about the future?" asked Kisame out of the blue

"You are awake in the middle of the night looking as if you've just seen a ghost because you want to speak about philosophical matters?" replied Itachi, a bit pissed

They never really had the time to rest. Between Leader's missions and the search for the biju the free time at their disposal was scarce so they tried to make the best of it. Even sleeping was important.

"What will you do when I die?"

That left Itachi speechless. Of course, given the fact that they were missing nins, they had to consider that one day or another they would be killed, or captured and then killed. They would never age together, they would never count their wrinkles, sitting on a sunny porch. Hell, they didn't know if they would die the day after without even telling their love goodbye.

Itachi passed his arms over the blue nin's shoulder's, effectively hugging him.

"I'll avenge you. And then I don't know. Now do you want to tell me what was this about?"

Kisame then stared, blushed and pouted. Itachi blinked.

"I was dead and Leader's brat was all over you, kissing you and groping you and making you say dirty things and you couldn't resist it. Not even Tobi's steel underwear could save you. Then appeared a choir of tomatoes but I don't really think it had anything to do with us."

Itachi was off of him in a split second.

"You woke me up because you had a dream about a kid molesting me?" hissed Itachi

"It wants to, you know. I can see it in its eyes."

"**He** is a child."

"**IT** used an aging jutsu!"

And then Kisame's toned ass bounced on the cold hard floor.

"Meanie."

* * *

A/N: Not really one of my best but I had an idea for the next drabble while writing this, next week you'll be satisfied! Sorry for not having updated last week but I had no ideas so I relaxed a bit. Skiiiins!!! You know, you still have to send me your RP!!! Also now I have messenger, karijn**at**libero**dot**it, basically is my mail… I don't guarantee I'll always be online, but if you want to chat I'll be happy! 


	36. Disney

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**DISNEY**

Ninja children's education isn't really that different from that of animals. Animals play as a training for what they will be in adulthood.

Puppies play tug on fallen branches to prepare themselves to fight for their food, kittens play with each other simulating fights they would have to do in order to defend their territory and little ninjas…

When 4 years old Uchiha Itachi convinced his babysitter to swim in a fish pond with only a look, his parents knew that their son would be great in genjutsu. A similar thing happened when 6 years old Hoshigaki Kisame took his father's sword in his hands and started to swing it around. Hoshigaki Nokoru was only a bit peeved by the fact that his precious olive tree had been thoroughly shaved.

Basically, the things a ninja kid did in his childhood were the main indicator of what the child would excel in.

That was why Hoshigaki Kisame started to sweat ice cubes when he found Kid Leader in front of the TV, happily maiming a stuffed shark while watching 'The little mermaid'.

_Les poissons, les poissons  
How I love les poissons  
Love to chop and to serve little fish  
First I cut off their heads  
Then I pull out their bones  
Ah mes oui, savez toujours delice_

The fin went off.

_Les poissons, les poissons  
Hee hee hee, haw haw haw  
With a cleaver I hack them in two  
I pull out what's inside  
And I serve it up fried  
God, I love little fishes, don't you?_

The stuffing was extracted.

_Here's something for tempting the palette  
Prepared in the classic technique  
First you pound the fish flat with a malette  
Then you slash off their skin  
Give their belly a slice  
Then you rub some salt in  
'Cause it makes it taste nice  
Zoot alors, I have missed one!_

The kid turned to the blue haired missing nin and smiled as he destroyed what was left of the poor plushie.

_Sacre bleu, what is this?  
How on earth could I miss  
Such a sweet little succulent crab  
Quel Domage, what a loss  
Here we go, in the sauce  
Now some flour I think just a dab  
Now I stuff you with bread  
Don't worry, 'cause you're dead!  
And you're certainly lucky you are  
'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot!  
__Tout-aloo mon poisson  
Au revoir_

When the song was finished the child left the remains of the shark on the floor and hugged tightly his weasel plushie.

"Come on Itachi, convince me that that kid won't kill me when he gets older just to get into your pants."

Itachi only sighed.

* * *

A/N: So sorry for the delay but exams are nearing and I have to study, on top of that one of my friends had a car accident and is currently in hospital so I was a bit distracted. I have to warn you that until the end of February weekly updates will not be assured. I am sincerely sorry for this but if I don't pass these exams I'm not going to be allowed on the pc so… On a happier note I finally have Photoshop CS3! XD And thanks to everyone who reviewed! 


	37. Beauty

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**BEAUTY**

Kisame always knew that Itachi was beautiful.

Since their partnership had started, in every village they would go, a fan-club appeared. Men, women, it didn't matter, no one was immune to the beautiful being that was Uchiha Itachi.

Things became worse after their relationship had started. Maybe it was only because he was a jealous jerk but it seemed that after their first time together even strangers on the streets teamed up to try and rape his lover. Hell, one time he even had to fend them off with Samehada.

For some time the shark man just assumed that his partner's beauty must have been something genetic. So he just accepted it and thanked every God out there that such a gorgeous man would want to be with an ugly mug like him. He changed his mind after meeting Itachi's little brother.

Kisame had never seen Itachi's face twisted with rage and hatred but he was sure that he would look even more glorious than he normally was when fighting. The young boy had nothing of his brother's magnificence, his face only a pathetic imitation of the elder's.

So it was not about genetics.

It was strange but it seemed that Itachi could ensnare every one who looked at him even if he didn't reciprocate the gaze. Kisame found it troublesome because it meant more people trying to kill him. Hunter nins because he was a missing nin and random people because he blocked their path towards the brunet.

The answer came to him during a moment between him and his lover.

Itachi had just finished his shower and was sitting on the bed, naked, a foot on the blue nin's lap while the older man carefully painted purple the toenails. It was then that he noticed something strange about Itachi's feet. The big toe of the foot he was holding was just a bit shorter than the second toe.

"What are you doing?" asked Itachi with a content smile on his lips

"Confirming the laws of beauty." said Kisame poking the second toe

Itachi tsk-ed.

* * *

A/N: Greek foot is a sign of beauty and intelligence. This is what you get when you put me near my old Ancient Greek's books! Sorry for the lateness but as I said I'm doing exams right now… And yes, I know this drabble is cliché but I don't have a foot fetish so a lemon was out of question. This fic is being translated into Russian! I'm soooo happy! Also I'd like to know if you want Kid Leader and Kisame to make a truce or to keep hating each other. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! 


	38. Valentine

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
**Warning:** Takes place right after 'Disney'.

* * *

**VALENTINE**

Hoshigaki Kisame did not consider himself to be particularly observant. Itachi-san was the eyes of their pair, the blue missing nin's only concern was to win battles and protect his lover. He never really liked ambushes, he preferred battling face-to-face.

But he wasn't stupid. No sir, he wasn't stupid at all.

His Itachi-san liked his privacy, but it became a cause of worry for the Mist nin that his lover had started to lock him out of their room at random times. But when a band-aid appeared on his lover's finger, his inner mind begun screaming at him that something was very wrong. Of course the brunet would remain quiet every time the frantic shark tried to ask him something and this only served to fuel the older nin's worry.

Day 1 – Band-aids: 1  
"Leader gave you a secret mission?"  
"No."

Day 2 – Band-aids: 2  
"Itachi-san? You sure that you're all right?"  
"Hn."

Day 3 – Band-aids: 4  
" You do know that Leader-san's banned pets from the Akatsuki hideout."  
"Hn."

Day 4 – Band-aids: 5  
"Itachi-san? You're not doing strange tricks with sharp things, are you?"  
"…no."

Day 5 – Band-aids: 7  
"Will you be still alive tomorrow?"  
"…yes."

The sixth day arrived and Kisame was frantically searching for his lover. That morning Itachi-san had gone to the little village near their hideout, now it was noon and he still hadn't returned. Tired and worried the blue haired nin went to their shared bedroom.

Itachi was sitting on his bed, his legs folded under him, his sandals on the floor. In his hands he held a plush doll. Kisame sat down near him and looked at the doll.

"You were making a doll?" said Kisame incredulously

"I was fixing a doll." corrected Itachi softly

It was then that Kisame realized what his lover held in his hands. The soft blue-grey fabric, the triangular shaped teeth and the slightly crooked fin. It was the shark plushie that Kid Leader destroyed earlier that week.

"I can always count on you to save me, Itachi-san." laughed gently Kisame

He took the plushie with a blue hand and set it aside on the bed's covers while the other went up to cup the young man's cheek. His lips brushed briefly against his lover's before attacking. His tongue skilfully slipped inside the other nin's mouth mapping its contours, engaging it's twin in a heated battle. When they pulled apart they were both panting, eyes dark with lust and hidden promises.

The Sharingan wielder laid his head on his lover's firm shoulder and smiled while Kisame played with his long, unbound hair.

"Itachi-san?"

"Mm?"

"You know… Your plushie looks nothing like a shark."

-SCIAFF-

"Ow! That hurt."

"I know it looks nothing like a shark." pouted Itachi before bending over the bed and reaching for something under it

Kisame shifted to have a better look at Itachi's behind. Round globes encased in black fabric that went lower and lower as Itachi stretched to find what he had put under the bed, letting Kisame see the dimples of Venus peeking out of the hem.

"That's why I went and bought a new one." said the brunet holding out a brand new shark plushie

Kisame, startled out of his perverted thoughts, smiled and held his lover close. Then a strange thought entered his mind and he grimaced.

"You're not going to give it to the Leader brat, are you?"

-SCIAFF-

"Ow! Itachi-saaaan…"

* * *

A/N: Sorry, sorry, so sorry! I know I'm late but I had the last exam the 14th so I couldn't update, but then I noticed that the drabble was too short and added a scene here and there. I hate the crappy start but I'm not going to rewrite it! I'm finally going to start 'Innocence'… I don't know if I'm more thrilled or terrified! XD 


	39. Change

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.  
**Beta:** This has been betaed by hazard2self! Thanks dear!

* * *

**CHANGE**

It was a sunny morning. The birds were chirping happily, the bees were searching for flowers and cute little squirrels chased cute little she-squirrels. The warm spring breeze brought new scents in the air and the sky was crystal clear. Outside the Akatsuki hideout, that is…

Inside that dark maze a cruelsome scene was playing out.

"I swear, GOD, I swear I didn't mean it, un!!!"

Uchiha Itachi, first son of Uchiha Fugaku and missing nin extraordinaire, was violently bashing Iwa no Deidara's head with a hair drier. The blond was crouching on the floor trying to protect himself but the brunet's Sharingan could easily see all the weak points in his defence and effectively hit him every time.

The commotion drew the attention of the other Akatsuki members in the hideout: Sasori, Tobi, Zetsu and Hidan. The puppeteer was the first to enter the bathroom, ready to defend his lover from the Wrath of the Uchiha heir.

But the first thing he did when he saw them was not protect his lover and glare at the other nin. No, the first thing puppet-Sasori did when seeing them was snort, guffaw and then start laughing, holding his sides.

Uchiha Itachi glared at him. But the effect was somehow ruined by the undisciplined and, most of all, SHORT wisps of hair on the left side of the brunet's head.

After the furious nin had calmed down a bit Deidara started to explain how it all started.

That afternoon, after his shower, a lock of Itachi's decided, probably in accord to his owner's sexual preferences, not to be straight anymore. The brunet tried everything and in the end resolved to ask Deidara to straighten it with the help of a dryer.

And then Hell happened.

Somehow that very lock of hair became tangled in the turbine inside the hair drier and Deidara had found no better method to free it than cutting it. It was not a tragedy, in Deidara's opinion. After all Itachi had lost only 20-25 cm of hair… He still had the remaining 15 cm to work with! Uchiha Itachi disagreed.

His hair was his pride and now it was ruined. He would have to cut it, no Uchiha goes around looking less than perfect. But what would Kisame say?

"At least give it a shape." sighed Itachi

* * *

Hoshigaki Kisame was tired, sweaty and dirty. His last mission had been long and stressful and his five days travel did nothing to help raise his mood. But he was looking forward to spending the night with his lover. Finally, after three weeks he could hold his Itachi-san again. And hug, have sex, snuggle, kiss and then have sex again. 

He was basically floating on his Pervy Cloud when he entered their room. He discarded the dirty coat on the floor and took off his sandals and spats.

"Kisame?" came a voice from the bathroom

"Itachi-san?" he called, but the other man was silent

"Something happened, Itachi-san?" he asked

Silence.

His lover was usually quiet and everything but this was a bit much. He tried to open the door but he found that it was locked. From the inside.

"Open the door, Itachi-san. I don't care what it is, you either open or I'll take it down."

The meek sound of the key turning inside the lock followed his outburst and an onyx eye peeked out the half-opened door. Kisame peeked back.

"Why are you hiding in there, Itachi-san? Something bad happened?"

The eye looked at him, then looked left, down, right and down again. Kisame was intrigued. It wasn't something dangerous or his lover would have told him but it was something that embarrassed him. Which was silly because, no matter what, Kisame would always support his partner, never once he mocked him, or teased him. Well… Not that kind of teasing, anyway.

So he gripped the handle and slowly started to open the door. As expected he encountered some resistance. His lover was also pulling the handle on his side. Kisame smirked. He knew it was cheating but he really wanted to see why his lover was hiding in their bathroom. So he pulled with vim.

And he obtained an armful of raven haired lover.

Considerably shorter haired, raven haired lover.

Now, his hair wasn't really that short but they weren't even long enough to fully cover his neck.

"It's hideous." mumbled the young nin freeing himself from his partner's embrace

Then he started to collect the blue nin's discarded clothes to occupy his mind and not to have to look at his partner, in fear of seeing that he was grossed out by Itachi's new appearance. But Kisame wasn't absolutely interested in meeting his partner's eyes.

His golden, shark-like eyes were fixed on Itachi's neck, which was revealed every time he bent down to pick up something. Long, ivory and beautiful. Kisame smirked and then moved behind the unaware man.

When the brunet stood he seized his arms from behind and then leaned over the pale, smooth column of his lover's neck.

"Kisame, what are you…"

But his protests were quieted by his partner's lips on his neck, kissing and stroking the skin. Not pleased by this, Kisame started to nip the juncture between neck and shoulder before violently sinking his sharp teeth in it.

"Kisame…" breathed Itachi, his dark head resting on his lover's shoulder

"You know, it looks good on you…" said the shark-like man caressing the growing heat between the young man's legs

_/Maybe I'll have to thank Deidara for this…/_ smirked Itachi before turning and kissing the hell out of his lover

Kisame smiled in the kiss and grabbed his partner's ass.

_/Or maybe not…/_

* * *

A/N: Initial idea inspired by a fanart on deviantart by saurian. But in hers it was Deidara having hair problems! Kisame likes Itachi's new look… I wonder how he would look with short hair. Well, since so many asked I'm not going to make a truce between Kisame and Kid Leader (maybe I will think of something AU to satisfy everyone!), so they will keep on hating each other! Next week I'll start University again... Don't want to! I love days off! TT 


	40. Bug

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Dedicated to those who liked 'River'.

* * *

**BUG**

The two missing nins made their way out of the woods in complete silence. The sky was already a deep blue and the moon was only a thin curve on the starry background. It was summer so the two nins had discarded the heavy Akatsuki robes for lighter clothes that bore the red clouds only on the lower part of the fabric but…

"It's too hot tonight." said Itachi while re-doing for the fifth time his ponytail

His hair had grown at an astounding rate since the incident with Deidara's Dryer Of Doom so the young missing nin was able to make a decent ponytail, without having hair everywhere. The problem was that, with such a hot weather, long hair was only a bother but Itachi refused to cut them short again or make a higher ponytail.

"We're nearing a little lake. Want to refresh a little?" asked the blue-skinned man

He didn't really have to say that as his partner's Sharingan spun with the prospect of a cool bath. The shark man was happy to stop for a while too, since such heat was not the best for his skin. Hell, in Kirigakure the best weather you could hope for was 'Not-that-cloudy'. Damned Fire country.

A splashing sound could be heard. Fire country be blessed.

With a speed that was unrivalled his partner had reached the pond, undressed himself and entered the water with a splash. Kisame was in his private little heaven made of little naked Itachi-sans dancing in the water. The blue man shook his head. He had his lover naked in the water and he was frolicking in his perverted mind instead of joining him? (Shame on you, Kisame.)

The tall man quickly undressed himself and entered the water. It was warm, due to the heat that it had absorbed during the day, and it was clear. Kisame dove under and went near his lover. Caressing milky tights he slowly made his way up to the slim hips until he was on his knees with his head out of the water and resting on flat abs while kneading lightly his lover's buttocks.

"How come you're always frisky when I'm somewhere near a source of water?" asked Itachi

Kisame pondered this. For him water was everything. He lived in a village that made a living out of it, most of his jutsus were water-based. Also there was the simple fact that he had shark traits. A shark couldn't live without water. In it they hunted, travelled, mated… Kisame never mentioned this to his lover but every time the black haired man was swimming in a river or a lake, he felt the animalistic impulse to bite him and make him submit. He would never do that to his Itachi-san. And to ignore those urges he drowned them under hot and passionate sex.

"Kisame?"

The older man stood to his full height, towering over his small lover.

"I would never hurt you, Itachi-san."

And with that he locked their lips in a loving kiss. The Uchiha's slim arms went around his powerful neck as long white legs locked around his hips, making their groins meet. Both men moaned at the contact.

"What if I want it to hurt?"

Kisame was a little baffled at this. It wasn't as if they weren't always making sweet sweet love. Sometimes even Kisame's iron control slipped a bit and the morning after would find the Sharingan wielder with a slight limp, but it was always something that was started by the elder. His dark haired lover never expressed the desire to have violent sex.

His inner shark was roaring at him. Sharks didn't always bite the females to keep them quiet during mating but it was also a sign of courtship. A sign that the male was interested. Kisame's inner shark couldn't find anything wrong in biting every inch of that pearly white flesh. Kisame's human mind suggested that his lover wouldn't be pleased to find himself with permanent teeth scars all over his body. Kisame's body tensed and Kisame's voice yelped.

It seemed that Itachi, while he was in his mind debating over his animalistic tendencies, decided to bite him on the neck. When Kisame looked at him, the younger only smirked and raised his head to expose his long neck. Kisame's inner shark won and Kisame pounced. His mouth was big enough that he could cover the entire expanse of that neck with a single bite. His teeth scraped over the skin and his tongue could feel the pulse of his lover's carotid artery. His jaw was right over the young man's windpipe and he could feel it moving every time his lover took a breath.

"I trust you."

Three simple words but to Kisame they were everything. And he bit down.

* * *

The two missing nins were lying naked and wet on their clothes, the younger over the elder. The pale body was covered in little lacerations but the most noticeable one was the circular bite on the right side of his neck.

"Just so you know, this is not going to happen every time we're near water." mumbled Itachi

Kisame just hummed. It had been fantastic but he didn't want it to happen every time either. Biting had always been an addiction and he wouldn't want to loose control with his lover. But maybe biting in bed was all right… His gaze was caught by a little bug that was crawling near them. It almost looked like…

Kisame attentively watched the flea and when it neared he smashed it with a hammer.

"Do I even want to know?" sighed Itachi

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

_Somewhere in a dark room…_

_Bzzzzzz...zzz...zz.z..._

"Damn... We lost the signal..." said a pink haired girl as a hooded figure loomed behind her

"Sakura, Sai, this is the last time I'm letting you borrow my bugs to document the 'mating habits of sharks and weasels'."

* * *

A/N: Sorry, so sorry… I have been busy with school and everything so I don't know when I'll be updating again. But don't worry, I will survive everything and come back stronger than before! Also I have in mind an IchiGrimm (Bleach) Mpreg… Well, let me know what do you thing of it!! (And all hail to the emperor's new groove!!) ...This drabble is over 1000 words long... It's a monster!!


	41. Music Meme

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**MUSIC MEME**

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

* * *

**1. ****Robin Hood – Cristina d'Avena (3:18)**

Sometimes Itachi wondered about his lover's sanity. The blue man was sitting in front of the TV, singing the opening song of Robin Hood's cartoon. The problem was that the singer was a female. Kisame's falsetto voice was really terrible and nearly made him cringe.

Kid Leader agreed with him since he shot the brunet a pleading look from the sofa, pointing at the demented blue man with a whimper. Itachi's shoulders slumped.

-

**2. Are you sleeping Maggie? – Robert Tannahill (3:06)**

The wind was howling outside the little wood cabinet the two missing nins had found refuge in. The sky was dark and lightning could be seen in the distance. The taller man held his partner in his arms, trying to keep him warm.

"I like the rain." said the Uchiha closing his eyes and resting his head on his lover's shoulder

Kisame liked rain too if it meant that he could pass a few hours holding his lover close.

-

**3. Por una cabeza – Carlos Gardel (5:25)**

"Kisame, pay more attention." hissed Itachi as his lover stomped on his feet for the third time that evening

"Sorry."

Damned infiltration mission. Itachi was dressed as a woman AGAIN and was trying not to get killed by his stiff-as-a-light-pole partner who obviously had no idea on how to tango.

"Make me do a casquet."

"What?"

"Now!"

Kisame proceeded to satisfy his lover and let him slide down while supporting his arched back, then he proceeded to shot a confused look at his partner.

"Are you starting to enjoying yourself now?"

"No, but my fake tits were sliding downwards."

-

**4.**** Lithium – Evanescence (3:44)**

Kisame gently caressed his lover's hair. Pale, dark ring under his closed eyes and blood all over him, that was how Zetsu brought him back after his fight with his brother. Dead.

Kisame blinked back tears. He knew that their life was dangerous but this was planned. Itachi wanted to be killed by his brother, leaving a desperate Sasuke and a broken-hearted Kisame in his wake.

Kisame discovered himself hating Sasuke. If only the kid had been weaker his lover would still be with him. Itachi would still be alive.

-

**5.**** Hey Julie – Fountains of Wayne (2:37)**

Working for Akatsuki was hard. Go here, run there, search for something and kill someone to get back. Sometimes all Kisame wanted was to spend sometime in bed with his lover. But noooo, Leader had a mission for him. Then he had a mission for Itachi. Then a mission for Itachi and Kakuzu. Then one for Kisame and Sasori. Really, that shady guy only wanted to separate them!

Unbeknown to him, 6 years old Kid Leader was signing yet another mission paper to send the Shark man away from the Uchiha. Being the genius son's leader ruled.

-

**6.**** All the same – Sick Puppies (4:17)**

"Put down that thing. If you really wanted one all you had to do was ask." frowned Itachi as the crowd around them watched with growing interest the two missing nins

"Would you really?" asked the blue man with a hopeful face

The brunet went near him and then put his arms around the bulk figure of his partner. All the people cheered and some old lady 'awww'ed.

"You don't need this anymore." then said Itachi with an air of finality tossing the 'Free Hugs' sign in a waste bin

-

**7.**** L'impazienza – Danijay (3:14)**

_It's the impatience the instinct that moves me, _

_It's the conscience that slowly dies._

Words had never been more true as Kisame watched his lover's long legs moving on the bed. Itachi was wearing the blood-red silk robe Kisame had given him for his birthday. A pale shoulder peeked under the crimson cloth and the blue man moved over him to push him down on the bed.

His lover pants were enough to vanish the last ounce of his control as he roughly removed the robe from that nude body to finally possess the brunet.

-

**8. Ali in gabbia, occhi selvaggi – Notre Dame Musical (3:06)**

ANBU team 8 had caught him on Grass Country's border and Ibiki had interrogated him for the last three weeks. Once beautiful dark hair was matted with blood, pale skin blue with bruises as he lay down on the stone floor. Ibiki said that he wouldn't talk, something about hoping to be saved from his imminent execution.

"You're going to die tomorrow, Uchiha Itachi. Any last words?" asked him Tsunade

"I don't need last words. He will come for me. I know."

Tsunade could only admire his faith in his partner.

-

**9.**** Gimme the Prize – Queen (4:34)**

"_I know his name."_

In the pub the crowd around him was noisy, sweaty and loud. Bodies grinding against each other made the temperature of the room skyrocket. But he knew what to search for. Who to find.

Kisame looked over the many people searching for his beautiful lover. Finally he found him nearly on the centre of the floor, surrounded by many men.

_Clear the way._

"You've found me, what are you going to do now, Kisame?"

"Gimme the prize." said the Shark man grabbing his partner's ass

-

**10.**** At the beginning with you – Anastasia OST (3:40)**

Kisame kissed the dark crown of hair that rested on his shoulder. Itachi moaned but did not wake and his lover smiled. They had been together for five years the previous night but Kisame still made love with his partner as if it were the first time. Well, maybe not really the first. Not the second either.

Kisame struggled to remember exactly when sex between them had started to become more like natural experience and less like a painful battle. Thank God first times happened only once in a lifetime.-

-

* * *

A/N: It's nearly 2 AM and my eyes are threatening to just pop out. I saw this around ff. net and I thought it could be a good idea to get over writer's block! (Still has exams to do but whatever…) I hope you liked them! It would be better to listen to the actual songs while reading them but I realize that no one will have them all at hand… That's what YouTube is for! XD Haha, three of them are in Italian and one of them doesn't have lyrics… That's my iPod for you!


	42. Record

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**RECORD**

-Bump-

-Bump-Bump-

-Crash-

"What are you doing, Kisame?" asked a perplexed Uchiha to the closed door of the main hideout's cupboard

A rattle came from behind the door and finally Kisame emerged, covered in spider webs and dust. Itachi Looked at him as the blue skinned man made his way towards him. He had dust bunnies nestled in his blue hair and in his hands, that were nearly black, he held a rectangular shaped object.

"I really hope you're not intending to touch me in any way while you're dressed as the Lord of Dirt." deadpanned the black haired man

His lover just waved at him and stretched his arm to let the younger man see what was in his hand without being dirtied. It was a simple camera, silver and a bit on the small side so Kisame could hold it in his hand without problem. Itachi looked at it and then at his lover.

"Alright, you got a camera."

"It still works, Itachi-san…" said Kisame purposely leaving the sentence hanging in midair

Itachi stole another glance at the camera and then gazed upon his blue skinned seme. Sometimes they used to add some spice in their relationship, a bit of domination here and a bit of cross dressing there, but they'd never left solid proof of their relationship. They didn't even have a single photo where they were together.

The Sharingan holder took the recording device from his lover.

"Go shower, I'll clean this."

Kisame's smile could have lit the whole hideout.

* * *

Itachi was uncomfortable with the heavy form of his lover sprawled over him and his member still lodged inside his channel. They had teased each other for nearly an hour and then his partner had thoroughly exhausted him with a frantic lovemaking that had left him without breath.

Kisame raised himself a bit and nuzzled the black haired man's brow before gently slipping out of the younger nin. Itachi groaned a bit at the loss, feeling his partner's sticky seed escaping from his body and staining the sheets. Kakuzu would kill them when the water and electricity bills came at the end of the month.

The Kiri nin sat on the bed and then went to the little camera that had still the green light on and turned it to see their recorded session.

"And?" asked Itachi from the bed

"It recorded nothing. The screen is black… One hour and a half of blackness. How could this be, I'm sure it worked."

"Did you take off the lens cover?"

An embarrassed silence filled the room and Itachi sighed. His lover turned to him with an apologetic look, he really wanted something to remember them and to masturbate too in the cold, dark nights of winter. Itachi motioned to him.

"It's not a problem." said the younger man

"Mh?"

"We can always make a second shooting."

And Kisame, after taking of the cap and pushing the record button for the second time that evening, jumped his smirking lover.

* * *

A/N: You know me, I'll never write a full lemon if I'm not in the mood… Maybe that's why it took me so long to write Experience. Anyway, no, I didn't forget this fic, I'm just putting more effort in my Bleach drabble series… Love you all.


	43. Deception

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta**  
Warning:**** Depressing?**  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**DECEPTION  
**

"I can't take it anymore!" yelled Kisame, throwing himself on the bed and muffling his curses in his pillow

"Kisame?"

Uchiha Itachi, missing nin extraordinaire, was used to his lover's rants about nothing and everything but it was the first time that the Kiri nin was this furious. The black haired man readjusted the towel on his lean hips and went to sit near his lover's prone form.

"It was funny the first times but now it's just annoying. You're not defenceless, I am not a rapist and you're not going to bear my children anytime soon!" grumbled the shark-like man

Itachi lightly stroked his partner's back with a patient smile. It was actually him who got riled up over Tobi's excessive reactions towards their relationship. The fact that now Kisame was angry too meant that the orange idiot had surpassed himself.

The muscles under his hand stilled and Itachi looked warily at his lover. The man then turned to look at him with a toothy grin and an evil glint in his eyes.

"How high is your metabolism and how good are you at acting, Itachi-san?"

"Pretty high and fairly good. Why do I sense evil waves coming from you?"

"We'll need milk."

------------------------------------------------------

"Pass me the cheese, Deidara."

"Errr… Itachi-san, you already ate four servings of ramen and five pieces of cheese, are you sure you want another one?" asked the blond nin passing the plate towards the black haired male

"Yes, I am. I am hungry. Am I not allowed to be hungry?" hissed the Uchiha making his Sharingan spin threateningly

Deidara paled and quickly used his chopsticks to put a big piece on Itachi's plate. Then thought a bit about it and added another one, just to be sure. The other male glared at him.

"I. Said. One."

The bomber yipped and took away the second piece and put the plate down in front of Kisame, looking quite meek and chastised. He looked at the shark like man from behind his bangs. What had gotten into the Uchiha? Moody as hell and hungry like a starved man, even Sasori was looking at him strangely.

"Itachi-san, why are you…"

"Tobi."

"Yes, Itachi-san?"

"Shut up." stated the man, drinking his milk with an air of finality

------------------------------------------------------

"Deidara-sempai? Do you know why Itachi-san is so strange these days?" asked a worried Tobi to the blond Iwa nin, sparing a glance to the black haired youth that was reading a book on the other side of the common room with a tired looking face

"No, but I'm sure that everyone noticed. Hidan told me that some days ago he heard sounds of retching from their room and saw Kisame go to the kitchen to make some hot water for Itachi-san. Seems like he has a stomach bug."

While the bomber was speaking a horrible idea was forming inside Tobi's innocent mind. His fears had been realized and the Day of Doom had finally come. The shark had successfully impregnated Itachi-san and was trying to cover it up with a story until it was time for him to start showing. Then the shark would take him away and they would never see Itachi-san again.

"And he's kind of slacking off, his belly's jutting out."

Argh! It was already late! Tobi had to confront Itachi-san to prevent the shark's evil plans from succeeding.

"Itachi-san!" exclaimed Tobi jumping from his seat and going towards the Konoha nin

The black haired man watched him blankly.

"He has forced his child upon you but it's not too late to get rid of it, there are pills, herb teas, providential miscarriages and enemy nin's that could help with killing…"

"Jeez, stop spouting that crap again, Tobi. Kisame is going to shave you with Samehada if he hears you." drawled Deidara playing with a bit of clay

Itachi just shot up from the sofa, put down his book, grabbed the masked man and dragged him out of the room. Then he closed the door and made sure that no one was around them with a quick glance.

"The others don't know it yet and we intend to keep it that way. Whatever you say, I don't care. I want this child. Please try not to bring ill fortune."

And with that he went away, leaving a dumbstruck Tobi in his wake.

------------------------------------------------------

"Itachi?" asked Sasori looking worriedly at the young man

His skin was pale and his eyes were bloodshot from an evident lack of sleep and something else. He was holding his hand on his stomach, the fist clenching and unclenching at random intervals. Kisame was at his side, supporting him and helping him sit down.

Deidara gave him a cup of tea which Itachi gratefully took. A tense silence fell on the room. Kisame looked at Tobi and then motioned for them to go out of the room.

"Happy now?" asked bitterly Kisame when they were out of earshot

"Why? Wha-"

"He had a miscarriage last night and still hasn't recovered. He told me that you had some harsh words to say so I hope you're happy. No more little sharklings to fear."

Tobi's shoulders fell and Kisame could have sworn that he'd heard his breath hitch.

------------------------------------------------------

"And we won't hear from him anymore if what he vowed to me in tears is of any indication. He now fully supports our relationship and asks that we start working on another child in the near future." said happily Kisame to the bathroom's closed door

A groan and the sound of something hitting the door answered him.

"I would have never thought that your lactose intolerance would come in handy, Itachi-san."

"I hate you…" came the weak reply from inside

* * *

A/N: Lactose intolerance causes diffuse stomach pains, abdominal cramps, swelled belly and a nasty diarrhoea when milk and its by-products are ingested. It's not pretty… Poor Itachi-kun. But at least Tobi is leaving them be. For now. It was the only thing I could think of when trying to do a serious mpreg. Epic Fail. Happy December to everyone.


	44. Drabbles

Disclaimer: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta**  
Warning:**** Random Word Generator madness. And yes, I know some of them aren't funny and are filled with mistakes.**  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things.

* * *

**DRABBLE****S**

--------------------------------------

**Word: Animal**

"Itachi-saaaan?"

"What now, Tobi?"

"I have always wondered… What is Kisame-san exactly?"

"…"

"I don't understand the question."

"Well, obviously he isn't a mammal."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't give birth to live young."

"That's because he's a male, Tobi."

"He doesn't produce milk."

"That's also because he's a male."

"So males aren't mammals?"

"Well…"

--------------------------------------

**Word: Stuffing**

"Now, Itachi-san, you just have to insert all of this inside. If we're lucky and it's big enough, you can even put in your whole hand. But be careful not to tear something or else all we'll have to stitch it up to keep the filling from escaping. And I really don't want to deal with white goo all over the tablecloth."

"Only you could make stuffing a chicken sound perverted, Kisame."

--------------------------------------

**Word: Spill**

Itachi was so thirsty that he didn't even bother with being cool and collected. He just took the water bottle from the fridge and started gulping it down. Rivulets of water cascaded from his mouth all over his neck and chest.

Hidan got a nosebleed.

"No fantasizing over Itachi-san, you perverted freak!" shouted Kisame from the kitchen door

--------------------------------------

**Word: Beginners**

Kisame knew that something had to be done after the fourth time that Kid Leader had destroyed his shark plushie. How could a one-year-old child reach a shelf that was over 5 feet tall was a mistery. The problem was that, every time that the darn kid destroyed the doll, his Itachi-san wanted to fix it himself instead of going to a doll-maker.

And every time he managed to cover his hands with tiny little scars that stung like hell and did not help him in handling his ninja tools. And since the shark man wanted to keep his lover alive and well…

Itachi was so-not-impressed when Kisame presented him a new book, 'Sewing for dummies'.

--------------------------------------

**Word:**** Aim**

He knew that his lover had been bedridden for three weeks and that his shoulder injury impaired his movements but when Kisame's sword hit the tree next to the intended target he couldn't help but to tease.

"You're lucky I'm a man and you can't get the wrong hole, Kisame."

--------------------------------------

**Word: Gossip**

"They know." said Itachi with a pale face, holding a piece of paper

"Who? What?" asked Kisame with his toothbrush in hand

"Konoha. They know about our relationship."

"And you discovered this… When?"

"They sent a photo of us kissing with 'MOAR' written all over it."

* * *

A/N: So sorry for not updating for over… What? Three months? Well, it's not really an update but I always start things that I don't finish so I guessed that many unfinished things make a finished one. No? Fear my patchwork skillz. I have a poll going on my profile, feel free to go and vote!


	45. Last Night

Disclaimers: Not mine  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: KisaIta  
Author's note: English is my second language so please don't kill me over grammar mistakes and all those things. Written for Lacuna-Coil-Girl, who requested it on my journal on DA.

* * *

**LAST NIGHT**

"A date."

"Yup. Why not? It's not like we have anything else to do." smiled Kisame

After two weeks full of missions, the two of them were finally given a few days off by Sir Leader and Kisame intended to use them to their fullest. And spoiling Itachi-san was a good way to do it, even if the I'm-so-not-impressed look his partner was giving him was a sure indication of some future uncooperative behaviour.

"Do you realize that we are S-class criminals and, as such, every nin out there has our face in their Bingo book, don't you?" asked Itachi

"But we've never been on a date before." whined the blue-skinned nin

"We have gone out multiple times together..." stated the black haired man

"All the scouting and spying during missions doesn't count." pouted Kisame

Itachi glared at his partner and sighed. What the hell was wrong with his partner? The Konoha nin was content with just them being together, even if they were doing nothing. Hell, he even enjoyed the rare times when Kisame would actually try and read 'Icha Icha Quests' aloud to 'heat things up'. Not that he had any intention of telling him that.

He was so engrossed in his thinking that he didn't even notice that Kisame had stopped blabbering and was looking at him with a curious and half-concerned look.

"But if you don't want to go... I guess that's alright, too." conceded the larger man

"No."

"Uh?"

Itachi bit his lip and diverted his eyes from the still form of his lover. He had this nagging sensation in the back of his head that told him that this date would be hell but he wanted to please Kisame, even if it was just going out and eat something.

"We'll go out this evening. I heard that there's a new tea shop in the village."

Had he been looking, Kisame's smile would have blinded him.

* * *

"How did it turn out this way?" grumbled Kisame, wet from head to toe

During their walk to the village the sky had turned from Sunset Red to Awful Black and in a few minutes the two missing nins were drenched by the freezing rain. They had run in the village and had found shelter under a small balcony near the village's gates. Their date could not really turn out better than this, could it? Kisame's mood was as dark as the raining clouds up in the sky.

He had moved his body to stand between his partner and the rain, effectively trapping him against the wall, and was reading himself for Itachi-san's disapproving glare. When the younger just watched him calmly, Kisame frowned.

"You're not angry." stated the blue-skinned man

Haha, here comes the glare.

"Why should I? It's not like the rain is your fault."

True, thought Kisame. But it was his idea to go out on a date. His finger caught a rain drop that was making his way down his partner's cheek and noticed how cold the fair skin felt. They would need to hurry back to the hideout and change before the freezing rain could make Itachi-san sick.

"We could use a transportation jutsu to go back..."

"No. We're here and we're drenched. We should go to the tea shop to warm up and wait for the rain to stop."

Kisame had to admit that, for all his initial reticence, Itachi was hell bent on doing this 'date thing'. Was his partner a closet romantic too, perhaps? He grinned toothily at the young man, touching their bare foreheads together, their hitai-ate left in their room.

"We should go." murmured Itachi, a hint of red colouring his pale cheeks

Kisame's attempt to kiss that cheek was met with the application of a sticky explosion tag on his mouth.

* * *

The tea that was brought to them was murky in colour and smelled vaguely like fertilizer.

The two missing nins looked at each other, silently daring the other one to drink first. Even if the shop owner had recognized them, he wouldn't dare to poison them in a so obvious fashion, would he? And Itachi was giving him a pointed look that clearly said 'No way in hell I'm drinking this'.

But their date had already had an awful start, with the rain and everything. And when they arrived at the tea shop the queue was so long that their cloaks had the time to dry up and become uncomfortably warm. The shop owner was lucky that customers had to pay in advance for the tea, because even a whiff at the smelly concoction would have made everyone run away without leaving a ryo.

But now the two of them were sitting comfortably at a round table in a corner with their orders in front of them and Kisame desperately wanted for something to go the right way during their date. What if Itachi didn't want to go out with him anymore because of the trauma?

So Kisame took the cup and brought it to his lips, Itachi-san's eyes never leaving his face. The smell was nearly overpowering but he managed to take a small sip. Only to spit it out in the cup with a meek 'plop'.

Having Hidan as a cook meant that most of their dinners looked like living nightmares that, if poked, would sometimes poke back, but at least they tasted good. Really good in fact. The strange tea smelled like fertilizer, looked like muck and tasted like dirt. A full tris of shit.

Itachi-san gave him a patronizing look and stretched over the table to touch their foreheads together, just as Kisame had done before. Then he tipped out his tongue and traced the contour of Kisame's lips in an unhurried pace.

"You're right. It tastes horrible." smiled the black haired nin against the other's lips

Kisame pecked his partner's lips and then pouted.

"I guess this is the end of our date, isn't it?"

Itachi didn't really need to answer to convey his feeling on the matter.

* * *

At least the rain had stopped about halfway to the hideout, but the two nin still managed to get wet and cold. The Konoha nin didn't spare his partner a word and went to their bathroom to take a shower, leaving Kisame sitting on his bed, all sad and wet.

After a few minutes Itachi came out of the bathroom, still dressed in his wet clothes. Kisame frowned. It wasn't healthy for his Itachi-san to stay in those drenched pants and fishnet. Maybe he was already sick.

_/...such nice nipples./_

"I was thinking about having another one." said Itachi

Kisame wondered, for the first time in years, if his partner had completely lost it. Or maybe the one that he went out with that night wasn't really his partner but another person. That would make much more sense than this.

"Another date? You're kidding me, Itachi-san. Dates suck."

"Yes, another date. You'll meet me at the hideout's kitchen at 7 PM."

And up went Kisame's eyebrows. The hideout's kitchen? Now Kisame was totally sure that his partner had lost his marbles. Itachi smiled a little as if nothing happened.

"Then we'll eat a bowl of instant ramen and we'll cuddle on the sofa, watching 'Real Ninjas' for the umpteenth time. How does this sound for a date?"

Kisame looked baffled for a moment and then jumped his partner, kissing the breath out of him, before running to the bathroom to prepare for their date.

* * *

A/N: I find it amusing that, whatever prompt they throw at me, I still manage to completely destroy it. Well, I hope you'll like it! Not your usual date but... In real life the tea was an Ananas 'granita' (crushed ice drink) and all of my friends agreed that it tasted like muck.


End file.
